Do i really deserve him

Chapter 70

It had been two months sinse that whole incident happend but something that had never happened to me before started happening this started two days ago i would keep getting nightmares and voices in my head tellng me im a bad person for lying and lots of other stuff it was like people were trapped in my head or something it scared me so bad that i couldn't sleep and i haven't slept for the last two days and tayler has been questioning me why am i always tired but ofc i couldn't tell him so just kept on having to tell lies which is just adding more lies to the whole situation i wanted to tell someone so bad but also i couldn't face the consequenes when everyone ends up finding out.

I have been trying to avoid tayler for the past two days cause i didn't like him questioning me so today i decided to go to sway to be far away as possible from him tayler was downstairs somewhere filming a youtube video so i just got ready and tried to sneak out without anyone seeing me but the i bumped into charli

"aghhh"i screamed

"u scared me"i said

"who r u trying to hide from"charli said

"nobody i just didn't want to iterrupt the boys filming a youtube video also charli pls can  u do me a favour and when tayler is done with his video tell him i went to sway and i didn't want to interrupt him thats why i didn't tell him myself"i said

"ok will"she said

i then went out got in my car and went to sway i hadn't called anyone cuse it was a last minute thing of me going to sway so i was hoping to find nessa there and maybe some of the other girls there

i knocked on the door and it was opened by blake

"hi bestie"he said in a girly voice

"shut upp"i said pushing him out of the way and walking inside

"are the girls here"i said

"no they went out to do some grocery shopping"blake said

"oh i never called first cause i was expecting to find them here"i said

"u can hang out with me till they get back cause i doubt they will take long"bake said

"okay"i said then followed him to his room and just sat on his gaming chair that was at his desk with his gaming setup on and he sat on his bed

"so what have u been up to its been a while sinse i last saw u why dont u ever come to sway"he said

"what do you mean i was here litterally last week ask nessa it's u that's never here when i come over or u are always in ur room idk"i said

"oh well how's life anything new u working on anything and how is Tayler is he working on anything new"he asked

"im good and so is tayler I've just been working on some new merch and he's just been working on his youtube channel trying to uplaud more and also hes working on some music"i said

"tayler can sing"he said

"yh it's something not much people know about him but he's a good singer but anyways what about you are u working on anything"i asked

"just my modelling career nothing new"he said

we then just talked somemore until the wierd voices that have been going on for the past two days started talking in my head again and it was scaring me so much that i started crying well i didn't realise i was crying until blake asked me whats wrong

"n....nothing"i  said

"pls dont lie to me ur crying so there is obviously something wrong"he said

and once he said the word lie it just made me cry even more cause i started remembering all the stuff that i lied about

"im sorry if i said something wrong i just wanted to know if ur okay"blake said sitting on the other chair beside me

"im not okay never have been and never will be"i said

"Pls don't say that now ur making me worried pls tell me what happened im always here for u"he said

"that's the whole fucking point i can't tell u i cant tell anyone"i said and started crying even more

"yes u can u can tell me it doesn't matter what it is ill always support u"he said

"blake im a bad person im a horrible person and tony is right im a slut whore a capper all of the other stuff he said about me"i said

"woah calm down i thought we were past this whole tony situation months ago and don't ever call ursef those stuff tony just said those stuff to get to ur head he's just someone that has nothing better to do than lie"blake said

"he's not blake he's not a lier i am im the one that lied im the fucking lier here tony did nothing wrong"i said

"i don't know what ur trying to say here but just tell me pls i won't tell anyone about this it will be our secret and nothing u could do is ever bad"he said

"it's worse than bad"i said

"nothing u do could be that bad that u can't tell me"blake said

"so ur saying lying about tony abusing me isn't bad yes i lied he never fucking abused me or touched me it was all one big lie i didn't expect it to get this big but it did so it was just lies on top of lies piling up tony wasn't lieing about anything everything he said was true I was the one lieng okay I can't take this anymore I had to let it out to someone it's been 2 months and still nobody knows expect u now"i said

"what"blake said whispering i couldn't tell by his eyes if he was angry or was about to cry or he hated me or didn't care that i lied

im leaving yall on a cliff hanger sorry. Anyways what do u think blake is gonna do is he gonna keep it a "secret" like he said he was or is he gonna end up exposing her wait till the next chapter to find out...........