Moments || H.S

twenty six; home

Harry notices me looking at him eating a bit of cake I had bought earlier that day. 

"What?" he says, putting the wrapper down on the table and giving me a confused eyebrow raise. 

"Nothing... just getting one last look at the world famous singer and song writer Harry Styles before I don't get to see him for a while."  Covid-19 had reached here and is worsening by the day. I'm spending my last day with Harry before we have to go into lockdown. 

"I'm really going to miss you, world famo-" I start to talk before harry interrupts 

"OK, OK Ave, you don't need the whole introduction, I'm just Harry to you.", once again, the modesty comes out . We smile at each other before he offers to drive me back to my place. I agree and we sit in the car in silence for a moment, watching everything zoom past me out the window.

I try my best not to think about how this could be the last time i am by Harry's side for weeks. He keeps on assuring me that as long as everyone is abiding by the rules it will be fine, but I still cant help but feel nervous. I hope everything works out... I'm supposed to be getting married this year for godsake. We planned everything so quickly, wanting to be married as soon as possible and it was set in August..because that's my fiances month. 

 I turn my attention back to Harry.

He reads my mind again, "you'll be alright... try not to stress too much about the wedding, it's months away." He's right, we have plenty of time to get this under control so I can marry the second love of my life.

 Harry pulls into my drive away and walks me up to the front door as per every other day. My neighbors know of our friendship, becoming used to seeing the celebrity come and go from my place.

He comes inside to say goodbye to Diana, giving her a scratch behind the ear, before turning to me and wrapping his arms around me in a loving hug.  He lets go and kisses me on the forehead, before waving a quick goodbye and closing the door on his way out. 

That was 10 weeks ago.

I haven't seen Harry in person for so long, and by the looks of, it could be even longer. We text and facetime everyday but it's not enough. I just miss his laugh in my ear and him singing upstairs because he doesn't know I'm there. I want to go home... back to Harry. I feel like myself around him. He has this part about him that can make anyone feel loved and needed. He brings out the best of people, loyal to you until the end. We need more people like Harry these days, most can learn a thing or two from him.

It's the small, everyday things about a person that you miss when they aren't with you. The small things only someone who was close with them would notice and observe every time it happened. 

It's the feeling of comfort you get with them and how your heart lights up knowing you made them laugh. It's the warm feeling you get when they touch you and the soft tone of voice and their gentleness when they are giving help.  

I miss my soulmate and his little things. Huh, that's a one direction song... why does 1D control my life? 

You start to notice that their presence is missing, not their physical body, but their emotional presence. It's easy to take these things for granted, and you don't notice you did until you don't have them. I know that I have it lucky, people are dying and I can still have everyday contact with H, but it still feels like i'm losing a part of myself without him here to guide me. Without him to bring me home. 

One night i'm sitting at my desk with Harry on facetime pretending to read a book while he sings quietly while softly playing guitar, and then suddenly he stops.  "Ave, what's wrong?" He's right, something is wrong. I lower my book and place it gently on my desk beside my laptop, displaying Harry's concerned face. 

"we... uhh," I wipe a tear before it falls out of my eye and then try and play it off. "We had to reschedule the wedding and we don't know when we will be able to have it..."

Harry is still silent for a minute, clearly thinking. "I'm sorry Ave, I was looking forward too it." He says genuinely. 

"I know you were." I reply. August had picked H to be his best man and he was thrilled to apart of our day. I can see the disappointment on his face as tries to give me a sympathetic smile but fails.

"Any idea when it will be now?" he says, and I can hear a slight sad tone in his voice. He was trying to hide it- he didn't want this to be about him.

"No, we are gonna wait to see what happens with gatherings and stuff..." I trail off my sentence, staring at the cupboard that holds my wedding dress I had bought right  before the lock down, not knowing I wouldn't wear it for a while. I stood in the store with my mother and Harry, trying so many on until I found the perfect one for hours. 

"Avery." Harry's voice brings my attention back to him on the laptop, resting his head on his hand and leaning in slightly to the camera. "It's going to be OK, I promise." I nod my head, only half agreeing with him.

Later that night I'm still talking to Harry about his next tour and August comes in and wraps his arms around me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder. "Hi Harold," he says in his American accent. 

Harry smiles at us, for real this time, and says, "Hi Augustus," in his British accent, "Just heard about the wedding, sorry mate." Harry says kindly.

August unwraps his arms around me as he speaks again, "Yeah, well, not much you can do." I decide to let them talk, slipping off the chair and exiting the room.

Diana looks at me from the kitchen and then struts towards me, purring loudly. I pick her up and stroke her soft fur while I walk back up the stairs with her in my arms to show Harry. He misses her. When i get to the bedroom door I can hear the boys laughing together, and my mind slowly relaxes hearing them together again. 

Harry was right, sometimes things change and there isn't anything we can do but hold on for each other and wait it out. If I have Harry and August, I know I can hold on. Soon life will back to normal and the world will thank me for being so patient while it tried to fix itself. I just have to wait.