Moments || H.S

eighty nine ; walking in the wind

(So.. that last chapter was intense and I know that's not how Harry normally acts but I promise he'll be OK just be patient. Things are only going to get rougher, so this chapter has a trigger warning and is from Harry's POV and this is one of the longest chapter this book will have so I'm sorry about that)

I stand on the edge of the highway, feet cemented to the grass and I hear a car in the fair distance, getting closer and closer with every second. 

The sun is hot on my back and I make the judgement that it's afternoon. I look around trying to work out my location. Two massive signs in the distance and I squint at them. I'm in LA based on the cities it's pointing to. It's quiet, no cars on the road or people. 

The car noise gets louder and I turn my head to see a black, shiny car approaching me from the horizon. It speeds up and I watch in horror as loses control and hits the barrier, sending it in the air and landing on it's back with a loud crash and smashing. 

I stand there, physically paralyzed. I hear Louis' voice call out my name, no scream it. He calls for me, a memory of him calling out my name jokingly drunk has now turned into the most horrific sound I've ever heard. 

I try to move, try to run to him but it's useless. 

I can't do any thing. 

I can't help

I can't stop it

He stops screaming

I sit up, a thin layer of sweat coating my skin and my chest heaving. I look around, I'm in my room. In England, not LA. The blankets feel like they're constricting me so I kick them off, sitting up as I do so. 

"Harry!" 

Ave sits up next to next to me, her hand on my shoulder as she talks softly. I try to control my shaking but I know she can feel it. 

"Hey, what happened?" She soothes and rubs my shoulder. I rub my face with my hands and take few deep breaths and close my eyes, only to see the car again so I re-open them quickly, trying to grounding with the techniques I learnt for when you have nightmares, but they don't work that much. 

"You're OK, breathe" she tells me and I try to and she shuffles so she's sitting in front of me, moving her hand down my arm to hold my hand and I squeeze hers gently, letting her known I'm mentally in the room and know she's there. She's better at the whole 'calm harry down' thing than I am. Sometimes I find myself zoning out in my thoughts, forgetting everything else and replaying memories. 

I look up at her, her face has concern written all over it and I feel guilty. I probably yelled or something and woke her up. Fuck sake, she needs sleep. 

"I was already awake" She says softly, reading my thoughts "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head, no way am I letting her hear this. 

I purposely didn't let her hear what Liam said on the phone. He was telling me that his injuries were so severe they were just getting ready to help him leave. He told me some of them, and they constantly scream in my brain. I can't even bring myself to think of some of them, how such a sweet person could experience something like that. 

The world is a fucking cruel place. It's evil, allowing that all to happen. Unleashing all the pain that this caused. What did Louis do to deserve that suffering? Fucking nothing. What did Ave do to deserve having her best friend ripped from her? Nothing. What did Delilah do to have her uncle killed? Again nothing.