Moments || H.S

sixteen ; worth it

6 weeks. That's how long it has been since since I had contact with Harry Styles. 6 long fucking weeks. My soul begs for him, which makes sense, him being my soulmate and all. I look at Jack, slouching down on the couch with a can of beer in his hands. I'm leaving. I can't stay here and be controlled by him any longer. 

Tomorrow morning when he leaves for work I am getting an uber straight to H. I don't care about my stuff here, I'll get it later, I just need to go back home, I've been gone too long from him. We'll tour again for his next album and listen to music under the stars again, like when were kids. That's all I really want right now. 

I sleep in Jack's bed for the last night, staring at the wall pretending to be asleep while he got up and put on his work clothes. It's not our bed or our room or our flat, it's his. Nothing here reminds me of myself, it's Jack's mess and Jack's shit, I need to get back where I belong. He didn't say goodbye when he leaves, I suppose he doesn't know that I will be running off to  my famous best friend today. The one I'm not allowed contact with. No fuck that, I miss Harry. 

When I  hear him close the door, I jump up off the bed and grab my phone in my hand, on the way to my wardrobe I looked out the window. 

fuck it's a storm... I quickly pull on my jumper and don't even bother changing my pajamas pants. Harry won't care and neither do I... and what comes after a storm, Ave? a rainbow. 

I leave the flat with nothing but my phone and handbag with my wallet and keys. I take one look at the place, clothes everywhere and dirty dishes. He's not my problem anymore, I close the door to the flat and that short part of my life. It wasn't long, but it was just enough for me to realize my worth as a person and for me to now know he doesn't deserve me and my heart. 

I run down the stairs to get to the bottom level car park of the building, fuck my car is still here, I can pick it up later, I have the keys for it so It'll be fine. I order the uber and get them to drop me off down the street from Harry's place so they wouldn't know he lives around here, that's what he always told me to do.  

Now I find myself half walking, half jogging in the pouring rain down the street and up to his door and knock please please be home H... the front door swings open and I see harry he grabs my wrist and pulls me inside, slamming the door shut behind us to keep the rain out. 

I don't hesitate to wrap my arms around him and cry on his chest about how sorry I am for everything I said, for not coming to the movie and for ignoring him. He hugs me back just as tight and doesn't say anything for a while, letting me cry for a bit. It feels good to be back here. 

"Ave, it's OK. I missed you and I'm glad your back ," he lets go off me but keeps his hands on my shoulders, "come on, what the fuck were you thinking walking in rain?" 

He leads me upstairs and and into his room then gets one of his hoodies and tells me softly to put it on, and that he will be right back. I don't ask questions, the sound of his voice again calms me slightly and i play with my wet hair. 

His hoodie smells just like him and I use the sleeves to wipe the tears and rain off my cheeks. I soon realize that I can hear him downstairs talking on the phone to someone, I'm too tired and cold to make out what he is saying so I lie down on his bed and wait. 

It feels like I haven't been here in years, everything feels so new and old at the same time, i crawl under the blankets on his bed and curl myself into a ball to say warm. 

"Hey Avery," Harry says softly, placing his hand on my shoulder and squatting down at the edge of the bed so his face is level with mine. I guess I fell asleep so I sit up and wrap my arms around his neck and cry on his shoulder while he rubs my back trying to comfort me. 

Harry is very good at this. He dedicates his life to being kind to others, I just wish more people would see that about him, and that he is a man now, not a teenager in a boy band. We grew up right in front of each other but sometimes I still see the boy with curly hair and scarf. 

 "I'm sorry" I manage to say "I didn't mean it all when I said to leave me, I never want to lose you again. It was Jack, Harry. I'm sorry. I love you." 

He hugs me tighter and says  "I know, I know... I don't blame you for what happened, but you're OK now. I'm not going to let him upset you again, you're safe now, I promise. I love you too" His voice breaks at the end of sentence he tries to hold himself together but he can't. 

"crying is very manly, Harry" I whisper. 

A few hours pass and we are laying in his bed staring at the ceiling. 

"H, do you remember when we were kids, and laying under the stars, you told me I was your platonic soulmate?" I turn my head to look at him, "does that still stand true?" I choke up on the few words but try and keep it down, I don't want to cry 3 times in one night. 

He turns his head to make steady eye contact with me, and I can see the tears sitting in his green eyes too. It's been so long since I've seen his face, or heard his accent. 

"Of course it does, Ave. It never stopped being true and it never will. I want you by my side for the rest of my life, and I will do what ever it takes to make that happen, because you are my soulmate." 

I move myself closer to him, putting my head on his chest and my hand on his stomach and listen to his heart beat, reminding me he really is here with me again and i am home. I feel him shuffle down to do put his arm around my shoulders.

 We talk for a little while, catching up and I spill my guts to him about everything and end on telling him how I left everything to do with us in a bag under the bed. He says he will get security to retrieve all my stuff so I don't have to seem him ever again. 

"Thank you, H." I say quietly, "for everything over the last 7 years, I can't begin to explain how much you mean to me. It felt like a piece of me was missing in that apartment, and the piece was you, I'm sorry. I'll never do that again." 

He opens his eyes and kisses my forehead gently, "you're worth it."  and he goes to sleep.