Moments || H.S

ninety three ; fine line

(Avery's POV and sorry about the inconsistent updates! I've just started college and got a new job so haven't had time to be writing or updating :(- Pippy)

(Play Fine Line by Harry Styles) 

6 months since we said goodbye to Louis and I'd be lying if I said it's gotten easier. 

Harry has gotten better., which is one thing I'm over the moon to see. 

He still has nightmares and moments where he loses himself, but they're are becoming less frequent. Something that is becoming more frequent however, is his smile. Which I could gladly see everyone morning after being deprived of it for so long. 

I still get excited to see him every morning, to hear his stupid jokes and watch him draw with Delilah. I love the people you just can't get bored of, because there is nothing boring about Harry. We could sit in silence and I'd still be intrigued by him, something about him just draws you in. 

We knew recovery wasn't going to be a overnight, but I'm so proud of his efforts. There's still rough days where he's convinced all his work was for nothing but there's days where we dance in the kitchen to old music and make pancakes with Delilah. Thankfully, the good days are more common then the bad. He's been going to all his appointments, seeing Delilah and went to the studio last week. To think 3 months ago if he got out of bed he felt accomplished, now he's writing and recording again. 

As for me, I've been OK. 

Focusing on parenting Delilah, who's birthday is next week and organizing that. Just trying to get used to this new way of life without Louis. I can look at old photos on my wall and smile instead of cry and the glass frames Louis got us  hang proudly on the wall for everyone to see. So, I suppose that's better? 

What is the Dr Sues quote? 

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened 

We've been putting the pieces of our lives back together, which has been difficult since I feel like a smashed mirror trying to put the shards back like a jig-saw. We'll get there in the end. 

We'll be alright. 

It was only 6 months, but it felt like 20 years of suffocation. I hope we never get to that point again, where we feel like we can't breath. I hope I never have to see my best friend like that and I hope the world never has to worry about him. They did, I got messages from his fans asking if he was OK because everyone that was posted was professional and from his team. 

One day, after he wrote 'I wanna get better', he tweeted. It was just a simple Hi, but I had to laugh when everyone trended 'Hi Harry'. Ever since then he's been a little more active, finally getting the courage to scroll through his twitter and seeing all the love the world has for us. 

So long story short, there's been improvement. It gets a little better everyday. It's going to be a slow process, but it's a journey we are ready to take because the destination is going to be amazing. 

Harry sits on the chair, watching some unfunny comedian on the TV. 

Today, unfortunately, isn't a good day. 

But, we knew those days wouldn't just disappear instantly. 

He looks completely uninterested, staring at the man but he's not really paying attention. There's something on his mind, I can nearly see his brain running a thousand miles an hour. 

"What's up H?" I ask, sitting next to him

"Nothing" He shakes his head, not making eye contact which I know is the first sign something is up.