Moments || H.S

ninety eight ; letters

(Funny story, my wifi cut out half way through writing this and I didn't notice til I had finished, so I had to re-write it all again and change a few things - Pippy)

I rummage through the garage trying to find the box of Christmas decorations. 

They aren't here so where the hell did I leave them last year? 

"Gus!" I call out to my husband 

"What?" A voice answers me from inside

"Where is the Christmas shit?" 

"The what?" 

Oh for fuck sake. 

"The decorations!" 

"I don't know" 

Real helpful, August. 

I walk out of the garage and into the downstairs bedroom no one uses that I just keep my old shit in, scanning the shelves and finally finding the clear container. I walk up the shelf and pick it up off the shelf, holding it with both arms since it's heavy as shit. 

I turn around and something catches my eye. 

On an old table, underneath a book, is a corner of a pink envelope with 'open' in Harry's writing sticking out. 

I decide to drop the box off in the lounge room and go back for the envelope, sliding it out from underneath the book to reveal the full writing 'open in like 15 years- H and A' I put it  into my hoodie pocket, deciding to open it later like it said to do. 

Harry comes over and we put up the tree, adding the decorations with Delilah. I got to put the star on this year and when it got dark after dinner, we turned all the lights off and watched it twinkle. It was almost magical. 

We put the presents underneath it and began to work on the rest of the house, adding little fairy lights and bits of tinsel. Christmas decor to the table while blaring Christmas Carols. It was nice and sweet, our second one without Louis and this time it feels a little easier. It's still hard as shit, but I'm coping better. 

I know it won't ever be the same and we won't ever be OK with not having him here, but I think we can learn to accept it. These are the way things have played out and it's our job to adapt to it. Like butterflies, Harry spent so long in his cocoon after he died and now he's came out a beautiful butterfly. 

I'm loving it. He seems like a whole new person. Well, the same one before all this happen and it's amazing to have him back after I thought I had lost him forever. 

"Hey, Harry?" I say after Delilah and August have gone to bed. Harry has 2 bedtime routines, either he's asleep by 10 or we are up to the early morning, there's no in between. 

We are sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Harry has a hoodie over his head and comfy-looking tie-dye sweatpants I'm tempted to steal because they probably would fit me. But it's not like I don't have half his wardrobe on the floor of my room.  

He turns to face me, and I don't think there will ever be a time when those eyes don't stare right into my soul. They're the prettiest eyes I think I've ever seen. I always loved that about him, it's so easy to get lost in his eyes and forget what your talking about. Same with all the boys really, they're all gorgeous and I'd sell my soul for Zayn's eyelashes. 

I'll never forget the day Harry sent me a link to an article 'According to science, Harry Styles has the most beautiful eyes' 

Anyway, getting side tracked.