Moments || H.S

eighty two ; goodbyes

(Hey! Just a few things before we start this chapter. Pippy is now the main writer, she's written every chapter since 30 and every one from here onward. Also, this story is about their most memorable moments. And yes, they have other friends but that's not important to their friendship. Harry does get spotted when they go out but that's also not included. Harry awards and success and fame doesn't affect their relationship so it's not included that much, but Ave is very proud of him. Music is important to them so that will be included a lot more. With all that being said, this chapter has warning for animal death)

At the vets again. The last time I was here was to put Diana down. Now I'm back, to say goodbye to my beautiful Matilda. She's old now, and at Christmas I could tell something was up. By Harry's 37th birthday party with the boys, she wasn't excited to be surrounded by her favorite people. Opting just to sleep in the corner and uninterested when Louis tried to give her attention. By my own birthday, I knew we wouldn't have her long. 

And now, it's July and I'm mentally preparing myself to say goodbye. I'm not as sad as Diana, which makes me feel bad but she lived a long, happy life. She was surrounded with love and affection everyday. She was one of my biggest comforts during hard times and we all adored her. But now it's time to help her cross over. 

Delilah is at school blissfully unaware her mother is putting her dog to sleep. August at home, he didn't want to come for it and I completely understand that. He handles his emotions by being alone and painting. I know when I get home there's going to be another painting on the wall of the 4 of us with her that he's probably doing now, wiping the tears off his cheek as he paints. 

I stroke Matilda's fur with one hand and hold Harry's hand with the other. I tell myself over and over this is the right thing, the vets have told me this is the right thing and Harry has told me I'm doing the right thing. But I can't help the twang of guilt I feel when they inject the drug into her vein and watch her close her eyes. 

"Goodbye, Tilly" I whisper, feeling the tears run down my cheeks "I'll miss you" My voice cracks and Harry lets go of my hand rubs my back as her breathing slows, and then stops. 

"How the fuck am I going to tell Delilah?" I ask Harry, rubbing my hands up and down my face on the couch, hunched over. I've been crying for the last couple hours and finally calmed down enough to talk. 

Harry sighs deeply, shaking his head and staring at the floor where she would normally be laying across his feet. But she isn't and never will again. This hurts..a lot. 

"Tell her her the truth" He suggest, leaning back and running his hands through his recently cut hair, it got just below his shoulders before he let Delilah cut it  "That she was old, and her life wasn't great anymore"

"She's going to hate me" I say quietly and Harry shakes his head again. 

"No, she loves you and will understand" He tells me, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder. 

"She won't love me much longer when she gets home" I sigh. 

I push myself off the couch and knock on August's studio door. He opens it, his cheeks covered in paint where he has been wiping them. He swallows when he sees me, knowing what's been done. I gave him a few hours alone when we got back, leaving him in his little art world but now it's time for him to know. He takes off his head phones, chucking them onto chair followed by the brush. 

He wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. I don't care about the paint staining my clothes right now. I've lost one of my best friends and I let out a shaky sob and we stay like that for a while.