Moments || H.S

eighty seven ; tired

(Yeah.. this is happening. Why? Because life isn't perfect and cheerful. Not everything goes the way we want it to. Please forgive me for the next few chapters.. I love you all- P x)

It's Wednesday, 2:40 am. 

 I lay awake staring at my wall with Harry. We didn't sleep a wink last night. Just waiting for phone calls and reading twitter, which broke me even more and Harry had to take my phone off me as I sobbed at what everyone was saying. The news exploded, I can't turn the TV on or look at newspapers. I just want to lay with Harry and try to comprehend what happened. Which seems damn near impossible. 

I told August the next morning, called him and told him not to bring Delilah home so she doesn't have to witness what's happening in her home. August tried to hold himself together on the phone but when he came over to collect stuff for them to stay at my mothers he locked himself in our room for a long time. 

Harry moves next to me and I know he's awake as well. We got a phone call from Niall about 4 hours ago saying that his condition hasn't changed and they have no clue. It's a waiting game, which is the worst kind of pain. Just tell me if he's going to die or not so I can prepare for it. Then, there's the hope that he'l be OK and that's dangerous, because if he dies I'm going to crushed. 

Jesus, stop thinking like that. Who am I kidding? Even if he does survive, life is going to be so hard for him. There's nothing good to come from this. I just wish I could hold Louis again, tell him it's OK even though I don't know if he can hear and be surrounded by the boys. But I can't, I'm stuck in this house waiting to know the fate of my best friend. 

I roll over to Harry, he's laying on his back with his eyes closed but he's breathing tells me he's awake. I prop myself up onto my elbow and whisper to him. 

"Harry?" 

His eyes open slowly meet mine. "You okay?" He whispers and I shake my head, feeling the tears burn my eyes again. His arms unfold and come around me and pull me into chest, where I close my eyes and listen to his heart beat. It's beating so fast, he's scared too. 

"I haven't slept" I admit quietly 

"I know" 

Of course he does. 

"I'm so tired" I whisper and attempt to swallow the tightness in my throat. 

"Me too" He admits "It feels like.. all the life has been sucked from me. I'm so numb, Ave. I don't think it's sunk in properly, like it's too much for my brain to process" His voice breaks and he breathing changes as he tries to control himself, I don't have the energy to comfort him. I just want to go to sleep and wake up with all this over. 

All this over, with Louis here like he was meant to be. 

I nod my head against him, unable to form words because if I open my mouth all that will come out are cries. 

It's Wednesday afternoon now,  neither of us fell asleep last night and Delilah came home briefly. I don't know what to tell her, so I just said uncle Louis wasn't going to be able to come over anymore because he was sick and that upset her enough. 

"Come here" Harry says, holding his arms open for her and she hugs him 

"I wanted to see him" She mumbles and Harry nods his head 

"I know, me too" But he knows something she doesn't and it breaks me, but I can't tell her yet. I don't want to watch her go trough the same thing as us at just 7. Once I know exactly what's happening, then I'll tell her.