Moments || H.S

106 ; the fault in our stars

(Hi! Album is finally coming ahah. I am beyond excited, Ave is finally getting her turn in the spotlight! I picked songs that I thought fitted their story and lives. I'll put the artists and songs at the end and I highly recommend all these songs  and short reminder I know fuck all about music lol so idk why i thought I could write this but oh well-P)

"You ready" Harry asks me, sitting on a stool near me, ankles crossed and hair pulled into a small bun. It's cute, I watched him do it to keep the curls off his face. 

"Yeah" I nod from behind the mic, headphones on and bouncing my leg with both nerves and excitement. 

I'm recording today. All the songs. The whole album. It feels like it's all coming together because it's nearly 2 years in the making and now I'm finally recording my album. Not anything for Harry or some other random person..this is mine. This is it. It's a sort of scary thought to think that it's my name, not as writing credits or being thanked by Harry, as the artist album. My name on the cover of the CD in shops. Fuck. 

Years ago, I never thought I would be doing this but I am. I thought I'd live in Harry's shadow forever and I also thought I would be OK with it. Turns out, I'm not and never was OK with it. I'm my own bitch, my own money maker and my own artist. I love Harry but I don't need him anymore. It's his turn to be the shadow. 

"Breath, OK? You're gonna be OK. If  you fuck it up, we do it again. Don't stress" He says gently and I nod my head again, biting my lip nervously. Spending all day in the studio for years, working on stuff, changing things and recording bits and pieces and watching the album grow and tell a story have finally paid off and worked out. There were days it would become to overwhelming, I'd sit on the floor in frustration and think about giving up. I'm glad I didn't. 

"You good?" Sarah asks, they all wanted to be there even though it's just me this time with the song in my headphones. 

"I'm good" I answer, picking at the hem of the sleeves of the jumper. I'm wearing Louis' hoodie he gave me that Christmas,(despite it being early summer) it felt right and it still smells like him since I didn't have the heart to wash it. The sleeves smell like tobacco and the rest smells so sweet, something that I've only smelt from him. I miss it. 

"OK, ready to go?" 

There's a small bit of conversation, before it's announced that 'Talking to the moon' will be first. Not first on the album, but first fully recorded and I hear the music start in my ears. 

I sing the song into the microphone, hoodie over my head with the headphones on top. I remember writing this song and the meaning behind it. I'd spend roughly 10 minutes, recalling my day to the moon and stars like they were Louis. It seems insane, but it was what got me through it. It's still crazy to me all this happened, but it did. As strange as it sounds, if Louis hadn't died then I wouldn't be putting out an album. So, I guess in a twisted way, something positive came form his passing. 

The song finishes and there's a few claps and Harry takes a photo of me behind the mic, I stick my middle finger up to him and he takes another one. 

As I lean over to pick up my water I ask "who's that to?"

"The group chat" He smirks, typing and then placing is phone on his thigh but it dings multiple nearly the second he does and he lifts it back up "Niall said middle finger was a tad rude but he'll forgive you ...Zayn said he's excited and proud and Liam said he can't wait for the album"

"What did-" I stop myself, Louis can't say anything. 

"Ave, Louis would be so fucking proud of you, I know it" Harry tells me, no one else picked on what I said.