Until the Stars Fade

Chapter 25

I've been home for a month now and every day seems bleaker than the one before. My trip to Europe was a dream, in that I got to see all the sights and museums and landmarks I'd only read about or seen in pictures. But the whole time, in the back of my mind, I knew Asher was making this monumental move as his career was moving at warp speed and I'd be right where he left me, across the country. We talked almost every day I was traveling, but it was strained, with his move hanging over us like a dark cloud. I would recount what I'd done that day and he would do the same, but we always avoided the elephant in the room. The few times his move to LA did come up, I ended up in tears and he was completely exasperated. Needless to say, we didn't talk about it much after that. Asher said I could come spend long weekends with him and he could come to Jacksonville during the holidays, but we both knew his plan was far from ideal.

To add insult to injury, the gossip sites were finding all sorts of things to write about Asher. There were pictures of him at the gym, grocery shopping, eating dinner at a restaurant with a strange woman (it was Hazel) and the headlines got crazier and crazier once he moved to LA. I trusted Asher implicitly, but I just couldn't see how this was going to work when he was thousands of miles away.

Currently, I was sitting with Gogo as she got her last chemo treatment. Thankfully, her side effects had really only been fatigue and some loss of appetite, but it was still a huge relief to be done. She would have some more scans in a few weeks to find out how her body had responded to the treatments.

"Georgia," a nurse called as she walked towards us, "your package was just delivered. The flowers this time are gorgeous, fitting since this is your last time here." She smiled at us and set down a beautiful vase of pink and white hydrangeas on the table next to Gogo's chair. "Looks like mint chocolate chip this time," she said as she pulled out a pint of ice cream from a little cooler. "I'm jealous of you Georgia, you get first class treatment!"

Gogo took the ice cream from her and set it on the table. "Oh, I don't know about that. I just have very special friends. I'm quite a lucky lady," she said as reached for the card stuck in the vase. She reads it, smiles and her eyes light up. She quietly tucks the card in her purse and proceeds to open the ice cream.

The nurse, whose been checking her vitals, turns to me and says, "Every treatment your grandma gets flowers and ice cream delivered. Someone clearly thinks a lot about her."

"Who's all this from Gogo," I ask. She peers over at me as she takes a big bite. "Just a friend dear, a good friend," she replies in a tone that implies we would not talk about it anymore. I am too worried about my own issues to press her anymore about it, but know I should.

I start to ask more, but she interrupts me. "Now Kinsley," she started, "tell me about how things are going with Asher."

"Ugh, do I have to," I whined while flipping through a magazine someone had left behind. "I don't know Gogo, he's so far away now and soon he'll be working non-stop. We hardly have time to talk as it is with our schedules and the time difference. I start classes next week. It all just feels impossible." I could feel the tears starting to well up. Every time I thought about how far away he was the waterworks started.

"Nothing is impossible dear. You two love each other, I'm sure you can find a way to make it work." She made it sound like it was easy, when nothing could be further from the truth.

Later that evening, I tried to call Asher before I headed out to meet Hazel and Finn for dinner but got his voicemail. After dinner, I saw I had missed a call from him and called him back to get his voicemail again. When I didn't hear back from him before I went to bed, I sent him a text.

Sorry we missed each other. Talk to you tomorrow. Love you.

If this is how our relationship was going to be, missed calls and text messages, it was never going to work. After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, I feel asleep with my stomach in knots.