Until the Stars Fade

Chapter 43

Two months into my job and I haven't seen Asher since graduation. My schedule hasn't allowed me to take any time off and Asher already had a lot of summer commitments lined up. Our talks on the phone have been strained but I don't know if it's because we're both so busy or if it's because we're drifting apart. I love my job so much but try not to talk about it too much because it's obviously a sore subject with Asher. It seems that everything is not going to be fine.

I'm walking in the door after a long day when Asher calls. "Hey Ash, how are you?"

"I'm good, just driving home from the studio, I had a short day today. How are you?"

"I'm great, just walked in the door. I had meetings with three potential clients today, it's been a crazy week. I'm so tired. I miss you though. Any chance you'll be able to fly out sometime soon, it's been months since we've seen each other." I pour myself a glass of wine and heat up some leftover takeout food.

"I can't Kins," he whispers.

"Oh," I say feeling defeated. "Well, that's ok, I just really miss you. I won't be able to get any time off for another couple of months, so I hope something opens up in your schedule."

"No, Kins. You don't get it. I can't do this anymore. I thought I could handle you being this far away, but I can't. I love you so much, I'm so sorry."

The microwave beeps indicating my dinner is ready but I suddenly have no appetite. In fact, I feel sick to my stomach. "Asher, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that this is too hard for me, being this far apart, subsisting on texts and FaceTime. I need more of you and that doesn't seem to be an option anytime soon. We aren't working Kinsley."

"You said we would figure it all out, you said everything would be fine." I'm starting to reach hysteria and the tears are falling fast now. "Why are you doing this Asher? Did you meet someone else? I don't understand. What happened to loving me until the stars faded and the oceans were dry. You lied to me." I'm having a hard time catching my breath. I can't believe this is happening all over again.

"I do love you Kinsley and I will love you forever, but I can't be with you, not when we can't actually be together, in the same place for more than forty-eight hours. I thought I could, I tried. I just can't. Maybe down the road, in the future.." I promptly cut him off.

"Don't talk about down the road to me Asher. There is no down the road, not if you give up on us. It's over."

"I love you Kins, I will always love you."

"Yeah, well, apparently you don't love me enough. Goodbye Asher." I end the call and slide down to the floor and sob until I've cried myself out. I drag myself to bed, hoping that this is all a terrible nightmare, a huge misunderstanding that will be cleared up in the morning.

When I wake up I see I have missed a text from Asher.

I'm so sorry. I love you.

I guess this nightmare is now my reality. For the second time in my life, I've lost Asher.