Until the Stars Fade

Chapter 37

The next weeks fly by as I go about my normal life. And for the most part, everything is normal. I go to class, hang out with my friends, and see Gogo for dinner a few times. But then there's the part of my life that isn't at all close to being normal, Asher.

Asher and I have been texting ever since he sent me the flowers. It's been mostly casual, like "good morning", "have a nice day", "saw something that reminded me of you", "goodnight." They are all initiated by Asher. I always respond but I'm still holding back some and letting the fear in the back of my mind allow me to maintain a little distance. I'm sure he's picked up on it, but he hasn't called me out on it yet and he's kept our contact to strictly texting. I think he knows I'm not ready for long phone conversations or FaceTime.

Gogo was thrilled when I told her everything that's happened. I keep reminding her that we are just casually talking, but she seems to think there is definitely more to it than that. Part of me wants there to be more to it, but the more practical side of me doesn't know how that would work, we still live across the country from each other. I don't even know if I still feel that way about Asher anymore, it's been three years since we were together. Ok, that's ridiculous, of course I still feel that way about him, I just can't admit it out loud, not yet anyway.

I'm checking my email, waiting on Jake and Henry who are coming over with dinner, and my heart starts racing when I see an email with the subject Internship Application. I submitted my application for the internship at Five Points Design almost a month ago and haven't heard anything other than the auto-response that my application was received. I nervously click on the email. Five Points Design is one of the best interior design firms in Jacksonville. Working there would be an amazing opportunity, but being a graphic design major doesn't necessarily put me at the top of the applicant pool. I scan the first few lines of the email and when I see the words "congratulate" and "welcome" I start screaming and jumping up and down.

It's at that moment that the door opens and Jake and Henry walk in, hands full of carryout bags from the taco place down the road.

"Oh my god, what's happening, are you ok? Are you crying? What's wrong?" Jake is peppering me with questions and trying to set all the food down to get to me.

"I got it! I got it!" I just keeping jumping up and down.

"Got what?" Henry asks and all I can do is point to my computer sitting on the coffee table. He picks it up and starts reading the email, "Kinsley, Thank you for your application to the internship program at Five Points Design. We want to congratulate you on your outstanding portfolio and welcome you into our internship program. We look forward to having you join the Five Points Design team."

"Kinsley, this is amazing! Congratulations, you so deserve this. I'm so proud of you," Jake says as he gives me a huge hug.

"Can you believe this? I got the internship. I can't believe it. Pinch me!" Henry embraces me and gives me a little pinch. "Believe it Kinsley, your portfolio was first class. I'm not surprised at all," he says. "I only wish we would have brought something to better to celebrate than beer and tacos. This deserves champagne!"

"Beer and tacos are perfect," I tell them, "besides, you know I don't really like champagne."

"Whatever," Jake replies, handing me a beer, "you've just never had good champagne before. Let's toast! To Kinsley and her future career in interior design! We can't wait for you to design our first house someday!" We all raise our bottles and toast.

"Thanks guys! Your support means so much to me. I love you guys! Now, let's eat, I'm starving!"

After dinner, I call Darcy then Violet to share my good news and Jake decides we need to meet at The Library for a proper celebration. I tried to convince them that wasn't really necessary, but here we are, walking down the street to the bar.

When we're close to the bottom of our fishbowl, Darcy says, "So, have you told Asher your good news yet?"

"Umm, yeah, no. It's not really like that. He just texts like "good morning" and stuff like that. We aren't sharing good news with each other," I say sucking back a big drink of the fishbowl. "I don't even know if he knows that I applied, I can't remember if I even mentioned it."

"Let's call him," Vi claps her hands, "I'm sure he would love to hear about it." She's nudging my shoulder and pointing to my phone on the table.

"Yeah, I don't know if that's a good idea," I tell her. Why is it that I'm always drinking when I call Asher, I clearly don't have the best judgement when it comes to him.

"Go on, call him, I dare you," Jake says pulling the fishbowl across the table to take a drink.

"Ugh! Fine, I'll call him," I tell them as I pick up the phone.

"FaceTime!" Darcy shouts. "I want to see his beautiful eyes!" She and Vi giggle at each other, now both drinking from the fishbowl.

The phone is ringing and my palms start sweating with the thought of seeing Asher. I pat my hair, as if there's any hope of improving the way it looks now. I really have to stop drinking these fishbowls.

All of sudden, Asher's face is filling the screen and I can feel myself smiling at him.

"Hey," I say quietly.

"Kins, so good to see you! How are you?" he asks.

"Good, I'm good. How are you? Did I catch you at a bad time?" I didn't even think about the time difference when I called, he could still be at work.

"No, you're timing is perfect actually. I just finished on set and walked into my trailer when you called. It looks like you're out somewhere, it's pretty dark." The Library has wood paneled walls and dim lights, it could be the middle of the day and it's still dark inside.

"Oh yeah, I'm at The Library with my friends," I tell him. Vi keeps whispering "tell him" next to me and poking me relentlessly. "Actually, we're out celebrating."

"That's cool, what are you celebrating?"

"Well, umm, we're, um, actually celebrating me. I got accepted into the internship program I applied for and just found out tonight." Asher's whole faces lights up when I tell him this.

"Kins! That's amazing, congratulations! You mentioned the internship when I was in town and I know it was important to you. You should definitely be celebrating, I wish I could be there to celebrate with you."

"You do?" Even though we've been texting for a few weeks, Asher still seems so far outside the realm of reality most days.

"Of course I do! Are you kidding me? I'm thrilled for you, this is your dream." I feel my cheeks pink at his words.

"Oh well, thanks. My friends thought I should call you, but I don't want to bother you. I'll let you go so you can get home," I tell him, all of sudden anxious to end the call.

"You're not a bother. You can call me anytime, you know that, right? You're important to me, I care about you."

Asher's words are suddenly too much. "I have to go Asher. It was good to see you. Have a good night, ok?"

"You too Kins, get home safely." I end the call and stare at my phone.

"I still can't believe you dated Asher James, it's crazy!" Vi's words bring me back to the conversation at the table. "You two are going to get back together, I just know it."

"I'm not so sure about that Vi," I tell her.

"Whatever, it's happening," she says with a tone of finality.

Later, Jake, Henry and I walk home and I can't stop thinking about Asher. Are we going to get back together? Do I want to get back together? It's too late and I had too much to drink to be able to answer any of these questions. I say goodnight to Jake and Henry, head up to my apartment, and go to bed.