Until the Stars Fade

Chapter 34

I've successfully managed to make it through the day without thinking about Asher the whole time. Ok, well, maybe not totally successfully because he was definitely on my mind, but I did manage to finish my homework and get two loads of laundry done. I've spent the last hour trying to figure out what to wear only to end up with the exact same outfit on I wore this morning.

Asher should be here in about thirty minutes and I feel so nervous I've opened a bottle of wine to try and calm my nerves. At exactly seven on the dot, the intercom buzzes. I buzz Asher into the building and realize that last night he knocked on my actual door. He must have waited until someone let him in the building.

I open my apartment door as he's stepping off the elevator carrying two huge bags with Giada's logo on the side. I can smell our dinner as he approaches with a smile on his face.

"How'd you get in the building yesterday? I didn't buzz you in," I ask as I take one of the bags from him.

"Oh, that. I thought you might not let me in so I waited until someone was coming out and let myself in." He shrugs his shoulders as if to say what's a guy to do and puts the other bag on the table.

"Are you hungry? I didn't know what to get, so I got some of everything. I hope that's ok." He starts getting container after container out of the bag. I laugh as I start to empty out the other bag, full of just as much food.

"Geez Asher, I'm going to be eating Giada's for the whole week with the amount of food that's here. Lucky for me Jake and Henry love Italian, so they can help me eat whatever's left. "I may have already opened a bottle of wine; did you want a glass?" I head into the kitchen to refill my own glass and get one for him.

"Yeah, that sounds great, thanks," he says finally getting the last of the takeout from the bag. I grab some plates and utensils as Asher comes into the kitchen. He takes everything from me and sets the table as I pour the wine. I glance over at him as he begins opening the containers and everything feels so normal for a minute, I have to remind myself that this far from normal.

We proceed to stuff ourselves full of delicious Italian food and he fills me in on his life in Los Angeles. He bought a small house about a year and a half ago and has been fixing it up and shows me pictures on his phone of all the projects he's completed. He updates me on his family and tells me his brother is in high school and on the swim team just like he was. I'm happy to hear that his family has been able to remain in their small town and Asher's fame hasn't impacted their lives too much in any adverse ways.

He asks about my parents and I tell him that they are still doing the same things they've always done, working with Doctors without Borders for the summers and staying in Atlanta the rest of the year working. I'll be surprised if they even show up to my college graduation, as sad as that is.

We've finished eating and are at the bottom of our second bottle of wine. I've packed all the leftovers in the frig and Asher has made his way to the couch. I sit down in the chair across from him, trying to give myself a little space. After a few glasses of wine, my body wants nothing more than to curl up next to Asher, but my mind and my heart feel differently. I remind myself that he's leaving town tomorrow to go across the country. Who knows when or if I'll ever see him again, I can't do anything stupid.

"So, I told myself I wasn't going to ask, but I have to know," he stares at me with an intense look.

"Know what," I ask feeling a little apprehensive of what he might want to know.

"Do you watch the show? Do you watch Southside?"

I take a big drink of wine before I look at him. "Oh, umm, actually, no. I don't watch it. Basically all the girls in my dorm freshman year watched it and they would all gather in the common room with snacks and blankets and I, um, I tried. I went down a few weeks but it felt like I had a heavy weight sitting on my chest. Every time you were on screen, I wanted to cry. So I just stopped watching, I told people it wasn't my thing. I haven't seen any of the show past season one, although I know the storylines of season two. Beyond that, I know nothing."

Asher's quiet for a minute just looking at me. I finally have to look away, it's too much having his undivided attention. "I figured as much," he says. "I probably wouldn't have watched it either if the roles were reversed. I hated the show for the first few months I was in LA. Hated it for taking me away from you, but finally realized I had an amazing opportunity and I couldn't blow it. After I got myself together, or really, after Oliver got me together, I pretty much just focused on work. My life in LA is pretty boring. I work and do stuff around my house. I have a few friends I hang out with, but it can be lonely too."

"Just because I don't watch the show, doesn't mean I haven't always been incredibly proud of you Asher. I don't need to watch the show to know you are extremely talented and good at what you do. I saw that in the first episode of the first season. I can imagine that you've only gotten better over the past years." I pick up his empty wine glass and take it with mine into the kitchen. When I turn around, he's standing right behind me. His proximity makes my heart race.

"It's getting late," I say, "I should get to bed, it's been a long day."

"Of course," he says while taking a step back into the doorway. "Any chance we can repeat this again tomorrow? I've love to see Gogo while I'm in town, maybe grab lunch or something."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure she would love to see you. I'll give her a call in the morning, is that ok?"

"Definitely, I'm meeting Oliver early at the gym for a workout and then we'll grab breakfast. How about I just text you after and we can make a plan." He heads towards the door and I follow behind him. "I had a great time with you tonight Kins. You wouldn't believe how good it feels to just be me and even after all this time, it's so easy with you. I've really missed this." He gestures between us. I don't know if he's implying he misses the easiness between us or if he misses us being an us. Either way, it's a lot to take in.

"Thanks again for dinner. It was delicious." I pull at a string on the bottom of my shirt, avoiding eye contact. My lack of eye contact doesn't stop Asher from pulling me into his arms to hug me. I tentatively wrap my arms around him and, as if by instinct, I lay my head on his chest. He rests his chin on top of my head and squeezes me a little tighter. With a quick kiss to the top of my head, he releases me and opens the door.

"Goodnight Kinsley," he says walking towards the elevator. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I stand speechless at the door long past the elevator door closing. Finally, I close and lock the door and get ready for bed. It's just before eleven and though I often stay up much later on weekends, I'm completed exhausted from this day.

I fall into my bed as my phone buzzes with a new text message. I pick it up and see Asher's name on the screen.

Sweet dreams Kins.

And with three little words, Asher James has managed to make his way back into my heart. I just hope my heart is strong enough to protect me from whatever comes next.