Until the Stars Fade

Chapter 36

As soon as Asher drove away on Sunday I wanted to call him and tell him to come back. I wanted to tell him that I missed him more than words can say and I don't want to spend another minute without him. Of course, I talked myself out of doing anything stupid that I would regret. I went inside, put on my pjs, curled up in my bed and fell fast asleep.

It's been two weeks since Asher left and I haven't heard from him other than a text when he landed letting me know he arrived and how it was so wonderful to see me. He's clearly left the ball in my court and I'm terrified to pick it up. I know that as soon as I open up communication with Asher, there's no going back and I just don't know if I'm ready for that yet.

My friends tried to help me hash out the pros and cons of being friends with Asher and they seemed to all find more pros than cons but I think his celebrity status is quite a determining factor for them. I'm beyond happy for Asher that he is living his dream, but the celebrity part of it is nothing I really want to be a part of. I'm not a red carpet, movie premiere type of girl.

This week I'm putting the finishing touches on an application for an internship at an interior design firm, which would be an amazing opportunity for me. Jake and Henry invited me over for dinner because they know I've been holed up in my apartment all week working on my portfolio for the application and basically living on cereal and cheese and crackers. I review everything one last time, attach the required documentation and hit the submit button. Both relief and panic course through me. I don't give myself any time to stew over it, I grab my phone and purse and head across the street for dinner.

As I'm exiting my building, there's a guy carrying a huge bouquet of wildflowers to the door. He smiles at me as he approaches the door and I pass by him. When I'm almost at the sidewalk, he calls out, "Excuse me miss, you aren't by chance Kinsley Davis, are you?" I stop when I hear my name and slowly turn around. He's walking towards me and says again, "Are you Kinsley Davis?" I just nod and he hands me the bouquet. "These are for you, looks like I had perfect timing. Have a great night." And with that, he heads back to the delivery van and hops in. I'm left standing on the sidewalk holding the most beautiful wildflowers I may have ever seen. I don't need to read the card, I know they're from Asher, but I'm afraid of what the card may say. Instead of taking them back inside my apartment, I just take them with me to dinner.

When I open the door to Jake and Henry's apartment, I call out, "Hey guys, I'm here. Smells great in here." I can see the many cartons of Chinese food covering the table. I slip my shoes off as I close the door behind me.

"Wow Kinsley, what's the occasion, you've never gotten us flowers before," Jake says as he walks over and gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Did you get your internship application submitted?"

"Oh, these aren't for you. I ran into the delivery guy on my way out. I assume they're from Asher and yes, the application has been submitted. Now I just wait and hope they like my portfolio. I would love to work there, they design some of the coolest spaces."

"You haven't read the card yet?" He asks and I shake my head. Jake immediately plucks the little envelope from the bouquet and proceeds to open it and read aloud, "Kinsley, I've been thinking a lot about you the last two weeks. I would love to hear from you. Yours, Asher." Jake looks up at me and lifts his eyebrow.

"What? Don't look at me like that. Do you have a vase I can put these in?" I hand him the flowers and he hands me the card. He heads into the kitchen to find something to put them in and I sit down on the couch and read the card over and over. I call out to him, "Yours, Asher. What does that even mean? That sounds like more than friends, right?"

At that moment, Henry walks into the living room and sits down next to me. "What are we talking about," he asks. His eyes widen as Jake brings the flowers in and sets them on the table.

"We're talking about these ridiculous flowers Asher sent Kinsley and that he signed the card, Yours, Asher," Jakes fills him in.

"Wow, that's intense. What are you going to do Kinsley," Henry asks as he puts him arm around me and gives me a squeeze.

"I'm not going to do anything right now. I'm going to eat Chinese food with my best friends and listen to them tell me all about their week because I was acting like a hermit and didn't leave my apartment. Maybe later we can talk about those flowers or maybe not. I don't know." With that declaration, we make our way to the table and eat dinner. When our plates are finally cleared, Jake pulls the fortune cookies out of the bag and hands us each one. I groan as I take it from him because he knows I despise these things but I always play along for his benefit.

"Ok, Henry, yours first," Jake says pointing to Henry's fortune cookie. Henry picks it up and breaks it open. He opens the little paper inside and reads, "Change is coming to your life. Embrace it. I can live with that, I'm good with change. Ok babe, you next," he says gesturing to Jake.

Jake has already broken his cookie and pulled out his fortune. He unfolds the paper and reads, "A person is never too old to learn. That's not really even a fortune! Whatever," he says, tossing the paper into an empty carton, "your turn Kinsley." I have never liked fortune cookies, I don't like the taste and I don't like the fortunes that are never fortunes. But I still break the cookie and pull the dreaded paper out. I read it and then just set it on the table. "Is there more wine," I ask, holding up my empty glass.

"Read it," Jake says kicking me under the table.

"These are so dumb," I say not wanting to say the words aloud. Henry picks it up, reads it and then says, "Oh, I see why you wouldn't want to read this. It seems you might need to talk about those flowers after all."

"Will someone please read the damn fortune already!" Jake's hit his limit of patience and swipes the paper from Henry saying, "Give me that will ya. Ok, it says A loving person is coming into your life. Oh. Damn. How about that wine now?" He tops off my glass without waiting for my response.

"Guys, what am I going to do? What am I supposed to do?" I look between them as if they can provide me all of the answers but I know I'm the only one that has them. Jake reaches across the table and takes my hand and smiles at me. "Kinsley, just give him a chance. From what you've told me, the two of you were very much in love, maybe you can be again. But you'll never know, if you don't take a chance. Don't regret not trying."

"I know you're probably right but I'm just really scared. I don't want to feel that way again." I stand up and take my dishes into the kitchen. "I'm going to go home, I'm really tired. Thanks so much for dinner, I really needed this. I'll call you tomorrow." I slip my shoes on, grab my purse and open the door.

"Wait, don't forget your flowers," Henry says standing up to hand them to me.

"Keep them here and enjoy them," I tell them. "Plus, I don't know if I can handle them in my apartment." They each give me a hug goodbye and I make my way back across the street.

I put on my pajamas, brush my teeth, climb into bed and stare at the ceiling. After an hour and I still haven't fallen asleep, I push my fear aside, pick up my phone and send Asher a text.

Thanks for the flowers, they're beautiful.

He immediately responds.

So glad you liked them. I'm at work now, can I call you tomorrow?

I start a response, delete it and start again. After deleting a few different things, I finally reply.

Sure, sounds good. Goodnight.

He replies.

Can't wait to talk to you. Sweet dreams Kins.

And just like that, Asher James is back in my life.