First Love // H.S.

53

'Hi, Livvie.' Harry says. I catch a really small smile around his lips.

'H-Hi.' I stutter.
'Can I get in?' Harry asks.
'Y-Yeah, s-sure.' I stutter more.

I focus my stare onto the windshield while Harry gets inside my car. Ugh, he's making me so nervous and shaky. It's been six years, and he still has that much power over me.

'How've you been?' He asks. He makes it seem like he has no trouble talking to me at all. Like he does it everyday. He's talking to me as if we never broke up.

'Um, I was doing okay. Until now.' I say without thinking. Harry chuckles while he moves one hand through his really long hair. When's he gonna cut it off?

'How— How have you been?' I ask.
'Honestly, not awesome.' Harry answers.
'O-Oh. Um, why's that?' I ask hesitantly. I have no idea what I'm allowed to ask and what I'm not allowed to ask. This is so hard.

'Zayn left the band and apparently he never liked it and apparently Zayn and I never talked. I've been feeling really fucked up over the past year because I got cheated on and lost my favorite person in the world, and had to pretend to be happy all the time while you didn't reach out to me once. Things are stressing me out. I have to keep an eye on so many things, and there's so many things I'd like to know but don't at the same time.' Harry tells. He talks faster than normally. He sounds broken.

'I... I'm so sorry.' I mumble.
'I bet you are.' Harry answers sarcastically. I sigh, rolling my eyes.

'Well, what do you want me to say, Harry? I left you alone for over a year because I promised you that's what I'd do. You didn't contact me once. And I feel like you're blaming me for not having have been in contact with you for the past year, while you're the one who avoided and ignored me every time we saw each other at parties! And now you're suddenly here next to me, making me feel really nervous and stressed out like you used to for five years? You suddenly drop a song titled "Olivia" in which you basically confess your undying love for me and don't want me to let you go, while you're the one that let me go as soon as you deleted your number out of my phone, blocked me everywhere and told me to get the fuck out of your apartment? What do you want me to say, Harry?' I rage. I hope I'm not sounding too harsh. I wait for him to respond, but he doesn't say anything. He just stares at his hands.

'Look, I'm glad you're finally ready to talk, but right now isn't a good time. I'm supposed to be at work in fifteen minutes. If you want to, you can come over to my house tonight.' I say, making my voice sound more gentle and nice.

'Okay.' Harry answers.
'Okay? As in you're coming over tonight?' I ask.
'Yeah, I guess.' Harry mumbles.

'Okay, whatever you want. If you don't change your mind, come before eleven. Maddie is throwing her twenty-first birthday party and I have to be there for her.' I explain.
'Understood. Is your boyfriend gonna be there?' Harry asks.
'At the party?' I reply confused.
'No, at your house.' Harry answers.

'No. He's out with his friends all night.' I tell.
'Okay, then. Good. I'll be there.' Harry says.
'Okay...' I sigh.

What do I say now? Tell him to leave my car? Say goodbye? Why doesn't he say or do anything? Why is he acting so weird right now?

'Um, Louis is walking out with my coffee. Um, I should really go to work right now.' I say hesitantly when Harry just sits there without saying anything for over fifteen seconds and I see Louis leaving the shop.

'In other words, I need to get the fuck out.' Harry says, sounding harsh and rude for absolutely no reason. What did I do now?