First Love // H.S.

57

As soon as I get home, I drop my bag on the ground and rush to the bathroom. I grab my contraceptive pills.

Dang it, I forgot to stick the weekdays above the pills. How do I find out I missed a pill, now?

I have a pill reminder app that reminds me to take a pill every day, and I can just click on the notification and say that I took a pill. I never really go into the app or look at the digital strip on it.

I grab my phone and unlock it, and go onto the app.

'Where do I find that thing...' I mumble as I intensively go through the app to find the digital strip. I finally find it, and don't see any missed pills at the first sight.

'I didn't miss a pill, so why would she give me that test?' I whisper, moving my finger through the last few days.

I continue scrolling until I see I skipped a notification once, and the digital pill is still inside the strip. I frown. This must've just been my dumbass forgetting to tell the app I took the pill.

But when I look at the date, I get nervous. That was the night of Maddie's birthday party. And I actually can't remember taking a pill that night.

I make a sudden gasp when I realize something.

That night was the night I broke up with Luke and sent him out of my house without asking the spare key he owned, back. I was afraid he would break into my house while I was sleeping.

Harry said that I could stay at his place for the night, which I did, and then that thing happened at his place that night.

I had nothing of myself, that's why I was wearing his clothes. I didn't even have my own toothbrush. And I didn't have my contraceptive.

I was way too drunk to think about any of that shit, so I missed a pill then.

But that doesn't mean I'm pregnant immediately. I'm probably not even pregnant. It's probably just my body reacting to me missing a pill. But does your body even react to that?

I put my contraceptive down along with a sigh, and get back to my bag. I take the pregnancy test out. Looking at it makes me wanna throw up in nervousness.

What if I take the test, and the result is positive? What do I do, then?

What if I don't take the test and keep on swallowing my contraceptive? Drink alcohol after the catwalk show is done? I might kill a baby. I don't wanna kill a baby.

I have to take the test. Just to make sure I'm not pregnant.

My hands shake as I open the box and take the pregnancy test out. My heartbeat accelerates faster than the speed of light.

I take out the paper inside the box and read the instructions. The test apparently also shows how long you've been pregnant, if you're pregnant in the first place.

I slowly start to follow the instructions, while my breathing is irregular and the thoughts rushing through my mind are killing me.

When I've done the last step, I cover my eyes to not see the little screen on the test.

Please, be one stripe. Not two. Just one. One is enough. I don't want two.

I remove my hand off my eyes and look at the ceiling. I slowly look down, to see the clear two red stripes on the test.

'No, this can't be happening.' I whimper as my eyes start to flood with tears. I throw the test on the table and miserably sit down on the ground, leaning my back against the wall.

Wait, but what if the condom broke and Luke didn't notice and it's his baby? The last time I did it with him was about a month ago.