Lỗi - Error 404 - ENGLISH TRANSLATION - Plaaastic

Part 7

Life on Internet has no age, sometimes there would be some perverted old guy that likes to look for troubles and would message to a girl that's in her teenage years : „How old are you, girl?", and send her a nude picture of himself. Me, finding it disgusting but still looking forward to those question because i felt like i was payed special attention to. I know, i know that it sounds crazy, how sick it sounds but trust me, if you were me even if it's this kind of message you would still melt under it a little bit. I wish i didn't knew, i wish i didn't understand, i wish that my mind would fit with the body of a 12 year old, because i can't even imagine something more miserable than a mad person knowing he is mad.

My middle school dating life started after that day i turned nine years old. There was one time when my classmate asked me: „Now we are attracted to our classmates, our parents are to to other people at their age but after we turn into the age of our grandmothers and grandfathers do we find the same old people attractive?" That question made me panicking because i realized that only liking people at our age is considered normal.

I had a lot of affairs. Every guy that i was with was at least ten years older. I liked guys that wore leather vests, reeking of cigarette smoke the most. But that kind was rare because if they wore the vest then they were also scared of going to jail so usually i just picked guys that were ten years older but their souls were even older. School dropouts, home runaways, car racers etc.But no matter what reason i never stayed with anyone for a long time.

Simple fact 1 : A small kid who has no idea what love is just likes to play games mostly the forbidden games.

Simple fact 2 : The sexual harassment left me with a large hole not knowing from when i was scared to be touched by others. I never knew if that touch would turn into a slap or if it would be just a simple touch? Every gesture that i received i would question it, what make you felt like doing this, what is your purpose for this, how far do you think that i will let you go? In the end beside the thing that i was called a frigid because i started to howl whenever someone touched my body. Until now, whenever my friends invited me to go for a massage ,at the thought of someone touching my body i would start to shiver without being able to stop.

In middle school no matter how stupid you are, you are still able to find to myself some stupid friends and that's how i got to know my four best friends until now: Thao, Thuy, Duong and Nam. Thinking back it was funny because i bought them with money. I didn't know anything else, i just had money, money to buy food for them, money to go out and play with them, buying gifts for them and paying money at internet cafes to chat on yahoo. [30.000 i got from my mother everyday] x [5 times every week] x [52 weeks every year] x [2 years] = 15.600.000 dongs to get my four lifetime friends. When my family went bankrupt when i was in eight grade, miraculously, they still wanted to be friends with me.

Thao was a tomboy, practiced dancing always wearing a cap backwards with the school uniform, later she would grow her hair long, her hobby being watching Korean movies and cooking.

Thuy, her dream was to become a bass player in a rock band now she is a teacher at kindergarten.

Duong was considered the most beautiful and the most talented, one day she moved to Germany and then disappeared.

Nam was skinny and looked fragile. Nam was always harassed by classmates.

Nam, now he already came out as homosexual - but at the time whenever someone called Nam a gay Nam would get mad and Nam would always call them out. In seventh grade after our teacher discovered bruises on his body she warned everyone that if she will saw more bruises she will discipline a whole class.

If you want to make fun of someone you will always find a way so my classmates changed their bullying ways to the invisible one: breaking his glasses, pouring milk into his bag, .. i got mad and called my boyfriend to deal with the main bully. My boyfriend waited across the street from school at the bakery, grabed his neck and said: „If you will ever touch my wife's friend again i will fucking cut you." And after that we went to the river To Lich to throw knives and after that were arrested by cops.So that's how Nam, Thao, Thuy and Duong became my best friends from that day. The ending that was never truly ever good for them at all.