Lỗi - Error 404 - ENGLISH TRANSLATION - Plaaastic

Part 17

I met my boyfriend when i was fifteen and he was twenty-five.

We met on a dance floor. Sweat dripping, rolling over the dance floor, breathing heavily. It was like aftermaths of making love after you erase all the good things from making love.His behaviour can be described like someone went into the room inside of him and turned off all the emotions, he didn't smiled, he wasn't intense, but if i were to tell all the negative things it would be too much, so i will talk about the positive things and that was, he loved me. He was a person who lived all his life in black and white colour, and he said to me „You are the one for me" after twenty-four hours after we've met. So we became each other's.

Everyone told me that he had nothing in common with me. He was in engineering school, only wanted to lead a simple life, to dance, thirty-one years old but only had two girlfriends in his life. He could eat one kind of food for ten years straight, knew how to save up and lived simply and whenever he went to somewhere everyone liked him instantly. Walking with him until arriving home and still couldn't get a word from him and being in love for five years and never had a proper date.

I found it really funny, because from a strangers view we really were like water and fire but if you put them together you can still get a pretty delicious stew.

Nobody knew that we had the same case of OCD: When walking on stairs we had to loundly count how many steps we already walked, lights had to be switched on and off three times, food on plate can't touch each other. Nobody knew that we never watched a movie, on Friday we would dance together and then close our eyes until sunrise and then ate McDonald's. He ordered a cheeseburger, french fries, ice-cream and i would drink black coffee without sugar. When we talked together he would often say that his dream is for the world to be destroyed and only he would survive because then he would have a limitless time to upgrade himself. Me, i dreamed of having the ability to reshape myself, being a different person everyday, i could be anyone, it would be so good. He felt like he couldn't be himself because he lived in this society, i felt like i couldn't live if there was no society but couldn't live if i had to live as myself in this society. In the end we agreed with each other that each of us will fly to another planet but we had to have wifi there so we could Skype and upgrade our photos of our place for everyone.

We loved each other because both of us wanted to live alone. We saw each other once every few months because i travelled often, when being together we would spend it by each of us being in another corner of the room maybe not even speaking together for a whole day. Just like that but when the night came we would sleep together under a blanket and it felt like the tightest place on the earth, turning on the air conditioning and getting under the warm blanket despite summer all year around.

When my withdrawal was about to kick in, i would talk about the stars, about aliens, talk about me being sure that all the humans are aliens, that only dinosaurs were the humanity on this planet, that we are the virus, earth was getting hot because it had a fever, that we are probably someone's aquarium and so on and he just listened, really listened. Listened with a serious face like listening to a lecture in class. He tilted his head, never interrupted, never said things like „Oh, how is that" or „Are you being crazy again". It was a gaze full of understanding, of really wanting to listen. But when i finished talking, maybe it was one word maybe two, he would stare at me for a long time, deeply and then he would say: „You should read less and watch less sci-fi, ok."

I need to go to school, i need to obey the law, he said to me. I need to to things that i have to do. He was an anchor to me. I would drift aways, i would flip, i would roll. He would stand behind me, surely and do all the thing that he has to do.

I would have a crisis, destroy everything in the house, scream, flapping my body around. He would come in to see if i have any cuts, if yes then he would stick the urgo tape on it, then he would went out and close the door behind him.

Sometimes that kind of love made me go crazy. According to him, nothing is crazy, not because he understands my craziness, but because to him, sickness that you can't see should be considered like it doesn't exists. He never told it aloud but his face whenever he saw me being sad always looked like he wanted to say „I wish that your sadness was like a cockroach so i could step on it once and it would be crushed to death".

But truthfully, if there wasn't him - if i had no anchor - i wouldn't know where i am and what should i do. Sometimes i became frustrated, this is a fact - if a balloon couldn't fly, kept being held, jerked on until the air wouldn't go all out then of course it couldn't fly to the highest place that it had a potential to do. But if it is released, then maybe in half a day i would pop out and fall down getting stuck on a tree, destroyed and left behind.

He held me so i could be balanced. Both of us are ours yin and yang, i teached him how to smile a little. He opened the door for me to see, to see that there are a lot of things for me to pass by, don't walk around in my room only.