It is the ending that i planned to write for my story right from the first day that i touched my pen to write this book. I am lying, if you think that this book will have the ending with its main woman character slowly getting up to sunlight then it will not. And still i don't understand why am i so stubborn. I took a belief from somewhere, emailed a publisher and told them: „I can't write the ending because right now there is nothing going on in my life."
There is one thing that everyone always mistook about me: It is about me hating life. I hate my life but i don't hate life, this Earth, this universe. I don't take this belief into my tomorrow but i am always full of hope for everyone around me. For example, one of my fans came to talk with me that she is 20 years old, doesn't know who she is, doesn't know what to do with this life. She said she cannot understand how i did the things that i did: „You are worldwide famous, going around the world, doing all the things that i never could have done in only two years with empty hands." She said that she admires me and that she will never be able to do it.
Truthfully i only knew to laugh. Earth and the people of Earth, you are all very funny. Me with a bad starting point, dumb, hot headed and depressed and i could come to the point that i am at now. Then you all in all kind of forms, all kind of smartness, personalities and feelings you can absolutely do it too. If i am a social bottom and i still had a way to go up then you can for sure find at least one thing to make yourself better, starting from today. Everything starts from that one step. Then you arrive to step two, step three, step four. No matter how high is the tip of mountain you still have to climb from the bottom. I even climbed from the time i dig it myself, you just have to not wanting to throw up everytime you look at yourself in the mirror every morning and you will have the ability to success in much higher percent than mine already.
Me - i do everything that i am supposed to do - simply to scream at this Earth that i am doing really well, i am trying, don't tell me to try anymore, leave me alone, i am bored and will still be bored. But that thing has no meaning i don't believe that there is something good in this life. I am truly a person whom if someone were to knock on the door and proceeded to tell me that they are very thirsty and have no place to go to, i would take them in and take care of them. I could lose a house, true, i can be murdered or robbed but if i already wanted to die then what's the difference. I don't regret any smiles that i gave. And the miraculous thing is, happiness is a thing that you don't have to own but you can still give away. I like making other people happy. I like to take care of my friends. I am nice with life and i sing with the birds because if every word has a chance of being a last word, every act being a last act between me and everyone i want it to be beautiful. I look for my peace but i also want the day that i leave for my friends to not tell things like: „Wish i went out with her more often." Just keep every memory lightly at peace a place where everyone loving each other tried their best even when sometimes even the best is not enough and that is okay. I like to watch people talking with each other, kissing each other, gifting each other flowers at days when poors become rich, because i know that happiness is still there, simply i just can't hold it, i don't have a sense for it. But i will protect it more and even more, like flowers that don't have any smell but still are pretty and if there will be more and forever what if one day i will find my own happiness or something closest to happiness for myself. I don't have anything besides faith and hope in everything because if i am still in a place that i am right now imagining that anyone can break, this life could become much more beautiful. If i can make two people laugh today then those two can make another four to laugh and i believe in that butterfly effect. I have to believe. I don't believe in myself and there are only two things related to my life, me and life so i don't have another choice but to push it all for life.
Depression, right, but things that i am sad about doesn't affect if i make everyone else sad.
After that i was in my house for two weeks straight, everyday sitting at my desk, ripping all my hair out and still couldn't write a word.
Disappointed at myself, tired of everything, „God, there is only one ending anyway", that line and still i couldn't even bring myself to write it.
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Lỗi - Error 404 - ENGLISH TRANSLATION - Plaaastic
No Ficción„If you are hoping for a story with happy ending with its main character getting up to look at the moon rising up from the roof then this is not that kind of story." This is simple the most real story of Plaaastic - a phenomenon fashion blogger on I...
