Loving yourself is hard. Trying to find love in a family who objectified you? Seems like work. But try finding love in someone as a hopeless romantic too.
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Smart, nerdy, pretty, and kind are all the words she's gotten used to. Being a Junior in...
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"Matteo." I turned around facing the guy himself with his tight long sleeves and a pair of dark jeans.
"So you did say yes to her?"
"You knew about it?" I smiled nervously and his frown only grew.
"Ok, you know, I'm kinda upset with you right now so, have this your way." I hear Cade complain before raising his hand and walking the other way, leaving me with a rather hostile man.
Blood rushed to my cheeks as I realized what situation I've gotten myself into. With it were my clenched fists on the piece of paper where Jocelyn's number was written. Slowly, I turned to face Matteo who seemed more bilious than ever.
"Yeah, obviously I fucking know. You hang out with that bitch and you learn that you know every part of her life." Matteo let out and I flinched.
Just a few words and he's already got a few others looking back at us. I'm not about to have another public confrontation with this guy. Not here. In fact, it will be much better if it never happened.
Thinking it would be best, I started walking the other way and to the parking lot where he could either follow me or walk with me and talk like that.
"You know how stupid that was right?"
"Matteo, I barely know you or her in this case. What makes you think I'll trust you?" I said, not even daring to look at him as we walked.
"She's a fucking snake!" He spat and I can only hear the anger in his voice.
"Well, you're the one dating her, " I said. "Actually, why would I even care what you think. We met once. It's not like you get to control how I live my life. Why would you care anyway?"
"Aren't you a prude? A goody-two-shoes? You wouldn't want to be hanging out with her if you want to keep your dignity."
I stopped on my tracks just before my car door and I grip my keys tighter in my fists.
"Ok, just spit it out." I swiftly turned to him and he frowns.
"What?"
"You obviously got some issue with me, spit it out." I crossed my arms and looked around, thankful that the parking lot was half empty.
"Fine, you wanna know my issue?" He snarls, "my issue is that you're too nice. You think you're too perfect. It's disgusting."
"Just because you aren't one doesn't mean you have your way."
"That's exactly my point, " He said, "you think you're perfect but you aren't. You think being nice will get you far in life, well it won't. You're stubborn as—"
"So you think you're perfect then?" I snapped, chewing on the insider of my cheek while I tried to hold back.
"Obviously not, but unlike you, I actually know that."
"That doesn't make your right, "
"No; but it makes me rational." His eyes are dark now and anger just radiates through them.
"Do you do this to everyone?" I curled my lips, "like, do you just go around and try to hurt as many hearts as possible?"
"I do this to people I can't stand." He said. Every word out of his mouth just makes my stomach churn and the lump in my throat grow.
"Then why not stay away from me? Why can't you just leave me alone if you can't stand me?"
"That's exactly why you shouldn't be friends with that bitch. I don't want to see you every day at a fucking party."
"Really? So all this fighting you're doing— this outburst is all for a last selfish attempt to get as far away from me as possible?"
"You'd think this would be easier huh?" He said, clenching his fists, "if only philosophy didn't have a reason to pair us up."
"I guess so." I croaked. My vision is now obscured by my tears threatening to spill out and I try to fight it. Just fighting.
"Has anyone ever told you how heartless you are?" I said as my final words.
He looks at me, anger etched in his face as he clenched his strong jaw. It's ominous like this, with the light breeze blowing and the darkened grey sky. It's as if an actual battle only on this one it's about something I couldn't understand. This tall, scary man who had the makings of a prince but the heart of a villain is something I might never live to understand.
"You don't even know how many, " he finally said, the tone of his voice speaking for his trapped anger and I knew that was the last of it.
"Well, " I trembled, "I'll have you know that I think it's better if we stay away from each other. Like you said. I won't have you trying to control my life and you won't have me; the girl you can't stand. We'll work alone with philosophy then just pass it at the end right?"
I opened my car door and went in, hoping that my car could protect me from his heaps of anger, but I doubt it. Even through my window, I could feel his fiery gaze.
However, just as I was about to close my door, he holds it open, now towering over me and my eyes widened. I can feel the threat from his presence but I was determined to keep my ground.
"If you keep seeing the good in people then you might as well be blind, or you'll end up dead. It's a free pass on hurting you." He said with his voice quieter and an octave lower.
I look him straight in his green eyes, studying its details and etching it on my mind to remind me of the kind of people there are in this world and I say,
"Well, I don't see good in you if that's what you meant, "
He lets go of my door and I didn't hesitate to close it and as I drove away, I see him standing there just as the drizzle of rain came, his eyes on the ground but his fists ready to punch something. If only I could tell his story, then maybe I'd get to see the good in him too.
