Loving yourself is hard. Trying to find love in a family who objectified you? Seems like work. But try finding love in someone as a hopeless romantic too.
• • •
Smart, nerdy, pretty, and kind are all the words she's gotten used to. Being a Junior in...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It's been a little since I've seen her. Days have passed, weeks, and a month before I knew it. One by one those days turned into fewer nightclubs and more books. That book she gave me became something more than a book to keep. It kept me awake longer than any girl I've been with. It made me angry, mad, sad, and everything else.
Above all else, it helped.
After hours of analysis, writing, and emotions I figured out things I never thought I would.
Even I sound like Evangeline.
The more invested I got in this, in her, the less angry I get. The thought of her is something that drugs me into a better person. People that knew me didn't think the same just because of that. She doesn't even know what she's done.
Yet here she is.
By the shotgun seat looking out into the road while the mist got thicker and the trees grew denser. Into the garden that I'd plan for weeks now. Her dark eyes reflecting the light snow and her cheeks rosy red. Just as beautiful as I remembered.
She isn't the first girl but she's the first one to feel real— even if she's not mine yet.
I smiled at the thought, biting my lip to stop it before saying, "you alright?"
I glance at her from the road and found her eyes glistening as she looked at me, her lips red from the cold. I've never wanted a kiss from those.
"Yeah, you?" Her fragile voice came through.
I only smiled knowing that I could say something stupid enough to ruin this for me. I can't afford that because for all I care this is the only chance I'm ever gonna get. This winter is all I got.
The blizzard had gone quieter like the atmosphere in the car, only in here, silence speaks volumes. None of it felt wrong.
After a few minutes, we made it. There were fewer people than I had imagined but maybe that's a good thing. I don't mind having this garden to ourselves.
I get out, taking one deep breath and controlling my explosive self. I know I'm not the who's usually the gentlest but this is me trying and I'm hoping it's enough.
I open the door for her and as she got out, that's when I realized.
All this. This pining and waiting used to be just for lust, for fun and games; the way I always used too. Never have I thought of a girl as someone I can take out to look at flowers or drive through slippery snow with. Not one thought of courtship came to view whenever I'm with another. It's all just sex, drinking, and smoking. But not with her. She's something more than all that.
She's Evangeline. And somehow, that's all it takes.
"So, care to tell me why you appeared out the shadows and into a winter wonderland?" She questioned as I fisted my hands into my pockets, walking through the first path.
