Hey, not me!

Chapter one: Alluring.

I had a feeling that I would need to run later that day as I pulled my power shoes on, i.e. my pink and white sneakers. Don't get me wrong, I am not a fortune teller or anything, but every now and then I do get this feeling. I lack a better way to explain it rather than the fact that when I feel like something will happen, it does happen. With time I have learnt not to think about it but I do get if it is too much for you to process in one sitting.

I skipped a little as I glided on the rough tiles that covered the hallway. The music in my earphones was a slow worship song which conflicted with my movements. On an ordinary day, I am an odd person. However, on the best of days am quite weird if I may say so myself. I have always been different, sometimes even on purpose and it never gets old on me.

I arrived downstairs just as the bus pulled up at the stop. I hurried forward and boarded quickly since I didn't really fancy having to walk to work. I settled by the door as the bus jerked forward almost toppling me to the ground. The drivers weren't really the most patient people I knew. It was a fast ride and in seven minutes I clambered down a short distance from my workplace.

I schooled my face into a thoughtful far-off look to avoid getting roped into conversation. I made my way into my office building after showing my badge to the security guard at the door. Nobody paid me any mind and I got close to the elevators before I received my first greeting. I guess you can't win them all. I put on my best smile and said hi back before practically running into the lift to escape a potential chat.

I am not a bad person perse but people are just not my strong suit. I prefer skirting around them and not having to get too close to one. Out of experience I have learned that most people cannot handle a full on me and so I try my best not to get attached. As the lift got to my floor I realized that the feeling still lingered. Ha! I should have known that was too easy. The real running was yet to come.

**

After a long day of sorting through boring documents and finding the best system to file them, I was ready for a slow evening. I decided to stop by the farmer's market to get some fresh vegetables. I was sorting through some apples to pick the ones I liked best. I had to be careful in order to not injure any.

I suddenly spun around as I knew it was time. I just had a sensation that whatever would spook me into fleeing was only a short distance away. When I saw what it was, I felt my heart sink and an emptiness invaded my chest. It was my worst nightmare come alive and in broad daylight too.

Standing a few steps away was the most handsome man I had laid my eyes on in a couple of weeks, no kidding. And he was sending me a look that said he was very interested in approaching me. Our eyes met and I knew it was too late to bolt. He started walking towards me and I in turn walked away.

Be as it may, he happened to be a persistent one and he increased his strides to catch up with me. He might have thought I was only trying to make the chase more interesting. The only thing I was trying was to not lose my cool and cause a scene. I promise you, I know how to cause those with horrific accuracy and efficiency.

"Hi" he spoke when he caught up.

"Hi back at you," I said hoping I didn't sound as bitter as I felt. I just wanted a normal day!

"Why are you fleeing from me?" I could hear the smile in his voice and it only made my stomach clench with strained patience.

"Because I don't want to talk to you," I replied honestly.

"But why?" He insisted.

"Because," I stated shortly. I really needed to get out of there fast.

"Oh come on, no need to be so shy. I mean I am just a regular guy," he pointed out in a way that showed that he didn't think anything about himself was regular.

"Look guy, I am really enjoying this talk but I have to go." My words were followed by me talking a sharp corner into a backstreet. I knew he would take a minute before realizing what had just happened. With a minute to my headstart, I bolted down corners and only stopped when I was absolutely sure I had lost him.

I took sometime to recover my breath before starting my trudge home. I didn't feel in the mood to get on the bus and opted to walk. I really wasn't okay after that ordeal. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that random men thought it was fine to bombard me with unwanted attention. The worst part was that no matter what I said, they never relented.

Since I was young I knew I wasn't made for love. Or maybe it was the idea of being so reliant on a person, to be made more vulnerable than I was. I am a sensitive person and even though I had gained more control over my emotions with age, things still bothered me more than other people. When any other person would have found my recent incident slightly bothersome at the worst, for me it felt like an invasion.

I only wanted the world to be able to respect me, to accept me how I am. I could never understand how anyone could mistake a 'no' for a 'yes'. For some reason, the harder I resisted the harder people pushed back. I had lost count of the people who had at one point set out to prove me wrong on my views of the world. At those moments I had had to go full Aisha and scare them off.

My eyes watered slightly as I remembered that I am enough to scare people off. If the opposite of alluring was a person, it would be me. But hey, that is all part of my charm.