Hey, not me!

Chapter nine: Beauty.

I often wonder what beauty is. For as long as I can remember, I would be pointed out as the most beautiful girl in the room. The fact that I didn't think much about my looks never stopped others from doing so. As I grew up, I made it my point to make myself as unattractive as possible. I cut my hair down to the scalp. That didn't work since everyone would just stare and say how good I looked with my short hair. In all honesty, I gave up all attempts to sabotage my looks because nothing worked.

"Wow, you really look good in that pant suit. Are you dressing up for a certain someone?" Sheila asked as soon as she saw me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"This suit is so uncomfortable. The only reason am wearing it is because all my clothes are dirty and I haven't gotten them cleaned yet," I replied.

"Yeah, sure." She said, clearly not believing me.

"Am serious," I insisted.

"Of course. The day after the CEO clearly hit on you, you start wearing tight clothes to work," she held her ground. She was beginning to annoy me with her suggestive remarks.

"Look, I have to get to work" I said and walked past her towards the lift.

"Hey, I was joking." She shouted after me. At least she had the soundness of mind to realise that she had offended me.

"I know," I said over my shoulder. I was being a bit moody I know but I didn't like it when someone questioned my morals. I mean, I have never been pretentious and so didn't expect to be treated as if I was.

Soon enough, I was really regretting forgetting to get my clothes cleaned. I was getting stares and two ladies had already pointed out that I looked rather beautiful. I knew them well enough to know that they only told me that because they were really jealous. The kind of pettiness I saw in these offices everyday was surprising. I settled into my office and got down to work.

I had no intention of leaving my office unless it was really necessary. I guess it was time to finally delegate some power to Bruce. He had been watching pleadingly as I took all responsibilities to myself and left him with nothing to do. He was the kind of person who was used to being liked by everyone and couldn't understand how I hadn't fallen under his spell. I just hoped I wouldn't regret what I was about to do.

"Bruce," I called as I held my door slightly open. I went back to my chair as soon as I saw him get up and come towards my office. He knocked on the door and waited for my reply. (I had just called him, so why did he have to knock?) "Come in," I said after sometime.

"You want to see me," he stated the obvious.

"Yes, I wanted to tell you that you're in charge of the department today. Make sure all of today's work allocation is completed on time. Also, be sure to supervise and ensure everything is done correctly." He was beaming as I completed my instructions.

"Thank you madam. I won't fail you," he promised.

"I am yet to see that," I responded.

"And madam if I may," he asked.

"What?" I questioned irritably.

"You look really beautiful today," he stated.

"And I didn't look beautiful yesterday? No, wait. Does that mean if I wear a flattering outfit I suddenly become the goddess of beauty? How superficial can you people be?" I ranted.

"I am sorry, I did not mean to offend you." He apologized.

"Well, you did. Now leave my office and don't come back in unless it is to tell me you are done with the tasks I have given you," I said.

I waited until everyone left the office in order to leave for lunch. I made my way to our usual spot and was relieved to see Sheila waiting. I joined her on the grass. I wasn't surprised to see that she was sulking. I had been a little too rash earlier. Maybe I should have checked my annoyance before showing it to my only friend.

"Sorry I got upset in the morning," I said.

"Am sorry too that I kept pushing," she replied.

"I hate the way people stare. You'd think after going through it my whole life I'd get used to it but I hate it every time," I confided.

"I know, people stare at me too all the time. And they comment too about how tall I am and how good I'd look on the runway," she said with disgust. I laughed at her words.

"Being beautiful sucks," I said.

"Haha. Tell me about it," she agreed. "Especially when all you want is for people to stop noticing you."

"I remember how as a teenager I got picked on for being pretty. People just automatically assumed I was the kind of girl that slept around," I said. I felt my eyes burn as I remembered how it had been so hard to survive a village full of bigots.

"I must have hit a trigger when I suggested that you dressed up for the CEO," she realised.

"Yeah, it felt like a knife through an old wound. But I shouldn't get angry with you because some people messed me up in the past," I told her.

"We both have our own scars. My mom always hated me because I was too dark," she said sadly.

"That must have been hard," I sympathised.

"It was. And she hated me even more because I turned out the most beautiful among my sisters and everyone said so. After seeing the various horrible men she married despite being such a beauty herself, I lost all faith in marriage." She went on.

"There are good men out there. Like my dad, he is the best man I have ever known." I encouraged her.

"Are trying to tell me to be your stepmom?" She joked.

"Sheila!" I exclaimed.

"I would never," she said with a laugh.

"I would kill you if you tried," I threatened.

"Of course," she teased me. We both laughed because we knew I would never be one to resort to violence. And Sheila would rather chew hot coals than get married, especially to an already married man.