Hey, not me!

Chapter four: Hips don't lie.

"Wake up Aisha, we have a long day ahead." Liz's voice managed to pierce my sleep induced delirium. The interruption, however, was not a welcome one.

"Go away," I groaned while rolling over to my side. The next thing I knew was my blankets leaving the bed. "Liz!" I exclaimed in frustration while sitting up.

"Yes, just like that. Get up we have a lot of cleaning and cooking to do before they get here," she coaxed.

"What? Before who gets here?" I asked.

"Aisha, I get that it is in your nature to always ask so many questions but would you please save those for later. We have work to do. Come on," she said with finality and walked out of our shared room.

With a truckload of grumbling, I got out of bed and put on some home clothes. I left the room and couldn't stifle a loud yawn. I don't really like mornings and I expected to sleep in when I came home to visit. I walked into the living room to find everyone busy at work doing one thing or the other. The only exception was my mother who was in the kitchen working her magic on various foods.

"Mom, what's going on?" I asked as I went to join her.

"Oh, we are having visitors later. We didn't tell you because we knew you wouldn't come home if you found out." She answered in a matter of fact.

"But mom, you know I don't do well with people." I whined.

"Well, its your aunt Emelda and her family coming." She said right before she walked out the back door.

"Oh oh," I said with dread. Aunt Emelda was my first sworn enemy. She was the most opinionated person and tended to try and fix everything. For as far back as I can remember, she thought I needed fixing. Her forcefulness was met by my healthy dose of stubbornness and relentlessness. I would never give in to her, not for whatever reason.

Luckily, the morning passed in a blur of chores and I didn't get time to think too much on the upcoming event. It was in this blissful state of preoccupation that the visitors found. I had just completed my final task of setting the table when the knock came. My eyes widened in apprehension as I realised that once again, my aunt had caught me in a bad time. I hadn't even had time to shower whereas everyone else was clean and ready.

Emelda strutted into the house with her people right behind. Everyone got a warm hug but when she got to me, her expression turned really sour. She sniffed angrily and huffed in annoyance. She looked me over in disdain making a complete fuss over my appearance. I held a look of amusement on my face as I stared right back. Finally, she cracked and couldn't hold herself back anymore.

"Mama Aisha, why do you let your daughter embarrass herself and your family like this?" She called out to my mother. Several faces were lowered rapidly at her statement. I turned to watch mom's reaction with interest. In all honesty, mother had never really been able to stand up to her elder sister, Emelda.

"Emelda, she is just a girl. Let her go and shower now," mom quickly explained.

"And wear something nice," aunt Emelda jutted in. Apparently, I no longer had a choice in the matter. "Most probably something that will show off your wide hips which are ripe for child bearing. After all, I brought that young man with us so you could meet him." At this statement, she pointed out a man who I'd never seen before. I had just assumed he was a relative I didn't know.

I was quite relieved when Liz pulled me away towards our room. I could see concern on her face but I was so caught up in my panic to care. I had no idea what to think of all of this. I wondered whose idea it had been to bring me a suitor in ambush. Why would my parents be involved in such a conniving plan? I mean, I was barely twenty-four and they were already trying to get rid of me. I didn't realize I was crying until Liz pointed it out.

"Hey Aisha, don't cry. You know aunt Emelda is crazy," she comforted.

"Did you know? Did mom and dad know? Is that why you didn't tell me?" I asked amidst sobs.

"No, we didn't know. I promise. You know mom and dad would never try to force you into anything. They love you so much, am pretty sure you are their favorite," she said solemnly.

"No, am not. There are no favourites in this family," I denied. Liz chuckled and I realized that she had just distracted me from my thoughts. "You," I accused.

"What? I had to stop you from crying. I mean you cry in a very ugly way," she teased.

"I do not!" I refused.

"You do too," she insisted. "Don't argue with me, and go shower. You reek of sweat," she said in mock disgust.

"Liz, am I fat?" I asked.

"Haha, you are a funny one. You weigh less than Amy, and she is only twelve. I don't know what got into you but you are as fat as a stick insect. Now, go wash." She shooed me into the bathroom.

As I lathered myself with soap, I couldn't help wonder at my reaction. It was in moments like this that I realized how odd I was. I found it amusing that Emelda's jab at my weight had been more hurtful than her attempt to marry me off. I didn't think that my priorities were in the right direction but that was the thing about me, I was always contrary.

Once I was done, I picked out the most unflattering outfit I could find. I chose an oversized t-shirt and a baggy pair of sweatpants. I pulled my hair into a haphazard ponytail. As I appraised myself in the mirror, I couldn't hold back a malicious giggle. The outfit made me look malnourished and probably homeless. I quite liked how the t-shirt hang low enough to show off my protruding collar bones.

"Here is for payback," I said as I walked out into the hallway.