Hey, not me!

Chapter five: etiquette

My luck seemed to have gone on holiday as I got stuck sitting next to my 'suitor'. He happened to be one of those people who drenched themselves in perfume. It had my head swimming in an unpleasant way and I had a hard time keeping any food down. Another thing was that he, like many other men, appeared to be quite taken by me. It still remained a mystery to me how men always got so drawn to me.

"Could you scoot over? Your perfume is giving me a headache and you are taking a lot of my personal space," I attempted for the millionth time to ask politely. I was running out of patience and the idiot just wouldn't move away.

"Come on, I know you are just trying to pretend not to like me." He said with a smirk.

"Hey you two, what are you whispering to each other about? Are you already falling in love?" My aunt asked gleefully.

"Oh aunty," I started in a sickly sweet voice. "I find this young man to be quite pleasant. And he smells like a perfume factory too," I went on. Just like always, my sarcasm was lost on Emelda. My siblings snickered as they noticed how happy she looked at my statement. Even my parents shared a look and I knew dad was having a hard time holding back laughter.

"John dear, want to go for a walk?" I asked the young man. His face lit up in expectation and I had to consciously hold onto my smile. I got up and left knowing that he would follow me immediately. He did. Once we were outside I swiveled around to face him. All semblance of friendliness was gone and I knew my glare was quite fierce. "I, do not like YOU," I emphasised.

"Come on princess, don't be so fussy." He said while taking a step towards me. I couldn't believe that he somehow managed to misinterpret my statement.

"Take one more step towards me and I will kick you in the groin," I growled. He stopped in his tracks as if for the first time realising I was serious.

"Wait, you are serious that you don't like me? But your aunt said I am your kind of guy," he looked genuinely confused.

"Huh! And what does my aunt know about anything?" I scoffed.

"She was convinced that I would be a perfect match for you," he insisted.

"And people say am the weird one," I laughed. "You are an actual grown man who wants to be chosen a wife for," I went on.

"What is wrong with letting someone who knows what they're doing find me a partner? It is not like I want to marry but my parents insist," he defended.

"Wow, that is sad. Just tell them you don't want to," I suggested.

"I can't do that. I was taught to love and respect my parents, I am not going to crush their dreams because of my own selfishness. Maybe you were just raised differently," he told me.

"Don't give me lessons in etiquette, especially not when you just kept trying to get cosy with me and in front of my parents too," I retaliated. The nerve of the guy to insinuate I wasn't raised right. "Am going back in and Showtime is over so just pretend I don't exist. Nice talk," I added for dramatic effect.

Honestly, I was quite sorry for the guy. I couldn't imagine being brainwashed into living my parents' idea of life. There is nothing wrong with taking sound advice but not the point of becoming a puppet. I was much more thankful for having open minded parents who let their children live their own lives.

"Why are you back so soon?" Emelda asked once I stepped into the house.

"John says he doesn't like me because I talk too much and have an opinion on everything," I said mischievously. My aunt didn't look too happy with my answer and she glared at me icily. Of course she would blame me.

"Sensible man," she commented. "You continue to disappoint me Aisha. I wonder who will ever want to marry you," she huffed.

"Oh aunty, but that is the point." I countered. The confused look she got was priceless and I shoved food into my mouth in order not to laugh.

"Aisha come help me in the kitchen," my mother interrupted as she headed into the kitchen. I followed her because it was a most welcome respite. "Why must you antagonize your aunt like that?"

"Mom, she brought me a man. Unless you were in on the plan, you should see why I don't feel so warmly towards her," I defended.

"You know she means well," mother put in.

"Does she? Have you forgotten that she is the person who told you not to educate me?" I could feel myself getting annoyed that mother always defended aunt Emelda.

"She is your only aunt," she tried to salvage.

"I have other aunts mom, and they don't behave like she does." I insisted.

"None of them are my sisters. She is my only family," mom put up.

"I know mom, and it is the only reason I have never set her on fire like I'd want to."

"Aisha! How can you say something like that? She is your family," mother scolded. However, I could see that she wasn't really upset by my statement. Even she couldn't deny that aunt Emelda was almost always out of line.

"The things I do for you mom," I sighed.

"Oh, you are an amazing daughter. And if Emelda hadn't been my sister, I would have helped you light her up," she joked and we both burst into laughter.

It was in companionable silence that we set to prepare the fruit salad. In the flurry of preparations earlier, this task had been forgotten. I couldn't help stealing glances at my mother. I wondered if there ever was a time she had been like me and what might have changed her mind. I was glad that she had chosen to marry my dad because my siblings and I wouldn't have existed otherwise. And we had a really great family too.