First Love, Addicted To You

Ghosted

Jaxon

I woke up feeling VERY hung over, All of last nights events, squeezing the life out of multiple women's necks.

But yet it was Jessica's face in that window that was haunting me.

I enjoyed killing, When someone does something to me, I feel the need to kill.

And I would never lay a hand on Sofia, I couldn't kill Kyle because she had used him.
His heart was hurt and I was fucking happy about it.

Also I needed the extra income..

I didn't go to work.
I called in sick. I couldn't face it.

I threw my clothes in the washing machine as soon as I came home last night, They had smelt of smoke.

I couldn't have Sofia find out what I did.
But then fuck it if she did. I did it because of her.

I got Ezmaya ready and went for a walk with her.
I needed some air and I wanted some time with my girl.

I left Sofia a note;

Sweetheart,
I understand what you did.
I understand why you did it.
But he's gotta fucking go, you wouldn't like if I moved Ryder in.
I will always love you.
Taking baby girl for a walk. We can talk later
J xxx

I was at the park with Ezmaya.
The fresh air was making me feel good. I felt happy now.
I think I just needed to get my anger out. I was back to normal Jaxon now.

I was missing Ezra so much.. What I wouldn't give to have a conversation with him.. A hug from him.. And shitty comment about me being a dick.. Anything would do right now.

My phone rang. It was a blocked number. I answered

Jaxon; Jaxon Angelo. Who's this?

Smit; Jaxo! Damn buddy I missed you.

Fuck.

Jaxon; You  alright?

Smit; Amazing  pal. Coming back up your way. Need a cuddle from my great niece.

Jaxon; Why you coming back!

Smit; Jessica has been blanking me hasn't she! Ain't heard off her since Monday.

Monday! What!

Jaxon; Say what now?

Smit; Yeah she called me.

Im-fucking-possible. I had her phone! And she was dead.

Jaxon; Monday just gone?

Smit; Couldn't tell you pal, Could have been a year ago. I'm pretty fucked up right now.

Jaxon; Bye Smit.

I ended the call.
He was coked up off his face. Tripping about talking to Jessica, Bet that fucking Kyle supplied him too.

Hopefully he over doses, both of them actually.

I looked up and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

She was standing across the pond from me.. It was Lacie. I was 100% sure of it!

I grabbed the pram and started walking over to her.
I had watched the paramedics pronounce her dead!
I saw Bekah cut her open in the morgue. This wasn't real!!

I got to where she had been standing, she was gone.
I looked across the pond to the bench I was sat on.
Lacie was sitting on the bench.

What the fuck was going on!

"She's beautiful Jaxon" I heard the words whispered in my ear.
I turned around. There was no one there.

"We could have had a beautiful baby together" I heard whispered.
It was Lacie's voice!

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed.

A police officer appeared in front of me, I was trying to catch my breath. "Are you okay buddy?" He asked me looking concerned.
I wasn't okay at all.
"Yeah.. sorry" I mumbled and walked away with Ezmaya.

I felt like I was going crazy.

I didn't know what was happening, Was I drunk? 'I don't remember having a drunk today?' I thought.
Seeing Jessica in the window came back to me again.
She was just watching me. She didn't try and talk to me like Lacie did. Was this karma? I fucking hate karma.

I got home, Sofia was awake by now, She was standing in the kitchen doing the dishes.
I walked over and I gave her a kiss.

"Just putting madam in her bouncer baby." I said to her and went to the living room.

Sofia smiled "Okay gorgeous, I'll be in here, Cleaning up after madam.

I was so glad to finally be okay again.

I put Ezmaya in her bouncer, As I went to stand up I saw Lola in front of the window!

I had killed her a few days before I met Sofia.
I didn't understand what was going on.
She just stared at me, then she flew towards me with her hands out like she was going to strangle me!

I fell backwards, fell straight over the coffee table.

The bang was huge, "Don't touch me!" I shouted out.
She was staring down at me. Never said a word.

Sofia ran into the room and I looked at her, I looked back ahead of me... Lola was gone.

Sofia was panicked. "Baby what happened?"

How could I tell her? "I.. tripped." I lied to her.

Sofia leant down and helped me to my feet. She cuddled me.

"But you told someone not to touch you..." She said quietly.

Fuxk she had heard me. "No.. I didn't.."

"Baby you did.." Her voice was soft "Are you having flash backs about your mom?"

Brilliant. That was the perfect excuse. I couldn't tell her what was really going on.

"Yeah sorry sweetheart, I must have.." I smiled at her.

"Oh don't be sorry baby" she kissed my forehead.

She sat with me for a few minutes, Then I told her I had to go for a shower.

As I stood in the shower with the water running down me I felt like the scared little boy in the basement.

I cried and cried. I was scared of seeing another ghost of my past, I was scared I was crazy.

I felt hands behind me, I almost jumped out of my skin then I head Sofia's voice, it was soothing. "I hate when you get like this, I just wanna make you feel better.." If only she knew WHY I felt like this.

She washed me down, washed my hair for me, I felt like a child, she acted like the mom I always wanted and never had.

"I killed again" I said to her. "At your mums house, And then I set it on fire.." The words just fell out of me.

"Shhh it's okay" she replied and got out of the shower handing me a towel.

I loved this girl so damn much. I told her I had killed someone. I had been myself. And she just said it was okay..

We were in bed, She cuddled me until we both fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later, Ezmaya was crying..

I walked across the landing to go to her nursery. I saw someone stood at the bottom of the stairs. It was Jessica, I froze.

"You're not real!" I said to her in a hushed voice and walked to the nursery.

I needed help..