First Love, Addicted To You

Do You Ever Feel Like A Misfit?

Ria

Katie was at work, I had clocked off a few hours ago.

We had chinese for dinner last night and I had felt like shit since.

I thought maybe a run would help me feel more myself, So that's what I was about to do.

I changed into my gym clothes and grabbed my iPod and headphones,

I put the headphones in my ears and played 'Same Love' by Macklemore.

I wasn't being ironic, I know I had decided I liked women now but this had always been my running song.. Honest.

I headed out, Jaxon was walking out of his house. He was alone, He seemed very upset.

I wanted to go over and talk to him but I knew he didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

I knew his brother had died, Word gets around when you work in a hospital, Also me and Katie had seen the funeral directors black ambulance turn up to collect the body.

Ezra never liked me much, But knowing that Jaxon had a girlfriend and baby, I guessed that was probably the reason.
I didn't hold it against him. I had no ill feeling towards Ezra and was sorry he had died.

Jaxon was walking towards me, He had his phone in his hand and was texting, He didn't notice me.

I walked down an alley and waited for him to pass.

I don't know what came over me that day but I decided I just had to follow him.

I wanted to see where he was going, To make sure he was okay.
Call me crazy but I still cared for the guy.

I followed closs behind him but at enough of a distance for him to not notice me.

We ended up at a lake.
He stopped and had a smoke, He didn't smoke much, Only when he was stressed or upset.

I was guessing he was feeling both of them emotions right then.

I stayed back, Just observed him.
I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to jump in or anything.

He kept looking around like he knew I was there but I don't think he saw me.

He started walking again.
I started following again, ' So Am I' by Ava Max began to play, 'do you ever feel like a misfit, everything inside you is dark and twisted...' I felt like this song was written about Jax.

After a while we ended up at a house.
I don't know whos house it was but Jaxon just walked in, He must have known the person well.

I saw a dark haired woman in the window, Was he cheating again?
Back to his old tricks I was sure.
This wasn't my business, I was done, It was time to head home.

I leaned down to tie my lace as it had come undone, Katie text me

Ryder; You home boo x

Ria; Just popped out baby x

Ryder; I should be home soon, wanna order food? x

Ria; Sounds like a plan, see you soon xxxx

I was falling hard for this woman, She was the sweetest.

I got back up, I looked to the window again and noticed the woman was gone. 'Weird.. He had probably took her to bed' i thought to myself.

I turned to head home. thats when I saw it.

The woman was in the living room, Her back to the window.
Behind her back she had a huge calving knife, What the fuck was going on.

I walked up to the door and quietly went inside the house, I heard them talking.

The woman asked "Do we have a deal?"

Jaxon answered "We absolutely do not Jessica"

Who was Jessica? And what was the deal!

She laughed "You don't have much of a choice here Jaxon."

"Goodbye Jessica."

What were they talking about?

I had no idea, But I knew she wanted to hurt him.m, That was clear to see.

I didn't know what to do.

I heard jaxon heading for the door.

I had to hide and fast, I quickly ran into the kitchen and hid behind the door.

The woman shouted "Don't walk away from me jaxon!"

"Fuck off." He called back to her.

He had no idea she wanted to hurt him.

'He hasn't seen the knife' I thought to myself.

I looked through the crack in the door and Jaxon was walking down the hallway towards the front door.

I looked around, All I could see was a glass paperweight on top of the fridge.

It was about the size of a tennis ball.

I picked it up and stayed where I was, Maybe I should call the police?

I heard more footsteps, She was following him down the hall way!

I looked out into the hall way and she was running towards him, The knife in the air above her head.
I didn't know what to do! He hadn't noticed.

I panicked and threw threw the paperweight at her.
She fell to the floor.

Jaxon heard the noise and turned around, Jessica was on the floor, Blood pouring from her head.

I looked at jaxon, He looked at me, We both looked at Jessica.

Jaxon opened his mouth. "Ria.. What did you do? "

Shit.. I thought she was dead.

Being a doctor instinct kicked in.

I ran over to her and checked her pulse, Nothing.. She was gone.

I began to do CPR.
I tilted her head to open her airways, pinched her nose and gave her two rescue breaths... Nothing.

I started chest compressions.. There was nothing I could do, She was gone.. I had killed her.

Jaxon was beside me, I don't know how long I was doing compresions for but he grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

"Ria stop.. it's not working.." he said softly.

"I have to help her Jaxon i'm a doctor!" I cried.

Jaxon shook his head "Ria shes gone babe, there's nothing you can do.."

I broke down and cried.
I wasn't a murderer, I saved lives, She was going to kill jaxon, I didn't have a choice.. Did I?

Jaxon looked at me "No one will believe this was self defense Ria.. You will lose your job"

He was right.

I would never have believed it was self defense, Katie wouldnt.. I would lose my job, My girlfriend, I would lose everything.

"What do I do jaxon! help me..." I begged him.

jaxon sighed "Just go home.. Have a shower.. Get into bed and this will all feel like a bad dream tomorrow.."

"What are YOU going to do?" I asked.

"I'm  going to take care of this.." cane his reply.

I didn't know what he meant by that but I was going to be sick.
I needed to get out of there and I needed to do it now.

I nodded and ran out of the house.

I ran all the way home, Katie wasn't home yet.

I got in the shower and sobbed and sobbed.

That was Jaxons girlfriends mother, She was a new grandmother.
That baby wouldnt even remember her, All because of me.

What had I done.

I got into bed, crawled under the blanket and cried until I fell asleep..