First Love, Addicted To You

Daddy little girl

Jaxon

Work was so hard, I felt like I was a changed man.

Now when I saw these dead bodies it was actually affecting me, I didn't want to see dead people.. Especially not murdered people.

That day we had a little girl in, She was only 9 years old.

She had been killed by her own father.

I could never imagine ever hurting Sofia, Let alone the child we made together, And if I ever caught Sofia laying a hand on my child or putting her at risk I would never forgive her.

i couldn't help but think about the baby we had lost, Would it have been a boy or another girl?
Would it have looked like Ezmaya?
Or would it have been like me, or Sofia, or Jessica, or Ezra even.

That morning before I left for work was hard.

Sofia had been in tears all morning, I took her breakfast in bed and she said she had a girls day planned with Freya and Ezmaya while I was at work.

I had opened a letter from the bank, We had defaulted on our mortgage.
That was just what Sofia needed to see! But I couldn't keep hiding things from her, I was a changed man.

She told me we would figure it out.
I knew we would, We always did.

I took another look at the little girl on my table, She was clearly suffocated, By the person she trusted most in this world.

I hoped her dad rotted in hell for what he had done to her, No child deserves that.

I ran to the sink and puked, This one was really taking it out of me. 

I slid the tray back into the freezer "I'm so sorry for what happened to you princess" I said to her and closed the door.

Ezra was a good guy, This little girl was the type of person Ezra would take care of in the after life, She would be okay with Ezra.

I went back to my office and began to fill out my report.

Sofia hadn't messaged me in hours, That was really strange so I text her

Jaxon; Are you okay sweetheart? Is Ezmaya being good? X

She didn't text me back, That was not normal.

I tried to call her but it went straight to voicemail.
'She is probably on the train she won't  have a signal.' I thought trying to reassure myself.

I would try again later.

It was coming up to 1pm and she still hadn't been in touch.
I was beginning to worry about her, The last time I hadn't heard from her she was in hospital.
I was worried something had happened again.

As I was thinking about her I got a phone call. It was an unknown number.
I thought 'Thai must be her, I hope she hasn't lost her phone.' As I answered it.

Jaxon; Sweetheart is that you?

ryder; Jaxon Angelo, This is detective Ryder, we're going to need you to come down to the station.

Fuck! What did Ryder have on me?!
Had Ria told her about Jessica?
I knew I was fucked and I didn't have Ezra to help me out this time.

Jaxon; Do I need to get a lawyer?

Ryder; We have Miss Rose in custody. We need you to come and collect your child.

Jaxon; I'm on my way.

Fuck.. What had sofia done.
Had  she confessed to all the murders again?

I couldn't let her go through that again.
I would confess to everything. I would not let Sofia go back to prison.

I got to the station in record time,
I walked inside and demanded to talk to Ryder, She turned up a few minutes later.

Ryder looked at me and shook her head.
It was never about Sofia, it was me she wanted behind bars.
"Right this way Mr Angelo, You can have 5 minutes with Miss Rose."

I followed her to an interveiw room, Sofia was sat holding Ezmaya her eyes filled with tears.

I went straight over to her "Baby, What happened?"

Ryder shut the door and left us alone.

"I fucked up Jaxon.." cane Sofia's tears reply.

"Please tell me what happened.." I pulled up a chair and sat next to her.

"Ezmaya prefers the pink blanket, She doesnt like the white one. She settles way better with the pink. If she wont settle the play 'Jp Sax If The World was Ending' and she will settle.
Some times I have to play it twice.
She doesnt like banana and she won't have a bath without a dummy in her mouth.. I can write things down for you but promise you will take care of her." Sofia was breaking her heart. It broke mine.

"Sweetheart of course I will.. But you're coming home, Tell me what happened" I practically begged her.

"Kyle text me." She said quietly.

"Fucking Kyle.. what did he want?!" I should have guessed he was behind it.

"He messaged me and said he had a job that he needed me to do and offered me £10,000, He said he would give you £15,000 if I got caught." She cried.

I was absolutely livid. "He is not giving me anything because I'm going to kill him."
It's funny how a couple of hours ago I couldn't bare to look at a dead body and now I was planning to murder someone.

"What did you do sofia?" I asked her.

"He asked me to smuggle drugs into the prision, injectables.. I had to put them in Ezmaya's nappy.." She looked away from me.

I couldn't believe what she was telling me.

"How could you Sofia! She is just an innocent little baby. How could you put her at risk like that!"

She tried to defend her actions. "I didn't mean to. I was going to put them in the changing bag but the policy changed at the prison and I didn't have a choice, We needed the money Jaxon."

I was pissed. "I don't give a fuck what we needed, shes a baby!"

Sofia looked at me "We needed to pay our mortgage, I had no choice Jaxon, We would have been homeless, Our baby would be in care and we would never see her again."

I couldn't stay mad at her, She had just lost a baby. She was going through so much, And all she had tried to do was fix my fuck up.
I couldn't make her feel worse than she already did.

"How long?" Was all I could say.

"For handling class A drugs with intent to supply... 2 years." She said with tears running down her face.

That was a long time.
She would miss Ezmaya's first birthday and first christmas.. she would miss everything, even her first steps and words.

"Okay.. That's not long sweetheart. Just keep your head down and don't get into any fights, We need you out or here and back home. I will try my best to get you out baby." I said to her, Beginning to tear up myself.

"Just make sure she is happy, That is  all I can ask you for..Freya will be there for you both. She will help you with Ezmaya, Just promise me you will never sleep with her."

How could she think I would..
"I promise that would never happen."

She handed Ezmaya over to me, She gave her a goodbye kiss and said she would see her soon, She gave me a kiss, cried her heart out.. And then Ryder excorted me out of the building.

So there I was, standing outside the police station. My 6 month old baby in my arms, My fiancé in prison, Me being an alcoholic, Mentally unstable, murderer, That was seeing the ghost of my fiancé's mother.. and I was left to raise a child.... I was fucked.

I looked at Ezmaya "It's just you and me for a while baby girl.."