First Love, Addicted To You

Changing Tactics.

Sofia

It had been 4 days since I had surgery.

I finally felt like myself again, I just couldn't shake the thought that I could have had another baby. 
Would I have kept it?
Would it have been a boy or a girl?

All the things I would never get an answer to now.

I got out of bed and went for a shower before Ezmaya woke up for breakfast.

I held my stomach thinking about what could of been, But I couldn't be selfish.
I had one amazing and beautiful daughter, If anything I was so lucky to even get the chance of motherhood.

Meanwhile Ezmaya had other plans, I could hear her giggling while I was in the shower.

Jaxon shouted in to me "Don't worry I've got her sweetheart" I could see a change is Jaxon already, I guess therapy was working wonders for him.

I got out of the shower and got myself dressed for the day, Jaxon was downstairs making me breakfast. He was just the cutest.

I went downstairs to the kitchen and saw Jaxon opening a letter, His face completely dropped. I knew it was bad news.
"It's bad news" Jaxon said as he saw me enter the room.

Great, Just what we didn't. "Oh.. what is it?"

"It's from the bank, We had defaulted on our mortgage payments." He sounded annoyed.

I looked at him and I said "We will figure this out we always do baby"
Little did he know Kyle had messaged me earlier asking if I could do one more last Job to the prison.

He said he would pay me £10,000 and £15'000 if I got caught.
I wouldn't get caught thought because I was to good at it.

I got Ezmaya ready and gave Jaxon a kiss before he headed to work.

I knew I would keep a roof over our heads, Get all the bad memories gone and start to plan our wedding and Ezmaya's christening.

Our future as a family was so bright.
I couldn't wait to finally become Mrs Angelo.

I waited for Jaxon to head to work and then put Ezmaya in the car seat.

I took her out to my car and strapped her. Then we headed back to the prison.

This would definitely be the last time I would do it.

I was so risky but yet so exciting. I felt invincible . '

"Are you ready baby? Road trip with Mummy" I said to Ezmaya.
I could see her smiling in the mirror, She really was perfect.

All of the last few days were a bit of a blur when I looked at her, My precious little girl.

I got closer to the prison, The roads were so busy that day.
'It must be people on their way to work' I thought to myself.

I pulled up and grabbed Ezmaya out of her car seat, I took her to the boot and set her pram it placing her in it.

I grabbed her changing bag and put the drug's inside, Then I headed into the prison entrance.

As I walked into the door I noted a note. It said;
'All bags, jackets, and pramsto be left outside of the visiting room'

Shit. The drugs were in the changing bag.

I asked quickly if I could change change Ezmaya before I went for my visit.
I said she had pooped, She hadn't but they didnt know.

In the changing room I paced up and down. I was fucked!
How the fuck would I get the drugs inside the prison without the changing bag!

I had to think on my feet.

I am so ashamed to admit what I did next. My god I didn't want to do it, But I had no choice.
Changed Ezmaya's nappy and I placed them inside the clean on I put on her.

Please don't think of me as a bad mother, I was trying to keep a roof over my daughter's head, I kept telling myself I had no choice.

Ezmaya was still soundly asleep.
I walked through the metal detectors, nothing.
I felt powerful like I was untouchable.
I whispered to Ezmaya "We did it baby girl."

I sat down opposite my lovely fake boyfriend.
He was as ugly as I remembered

We had to act like a family so he lent over and kissed us both.
I could have just vomited there and then.

I put my hand in the back of Ezmaya's nappy and placed the drugs under the table.

I didn't know at this point that the guard was watching my every move.
This was the end for me and I was totally oblivious.

As I walked out of the visitors room could see Detective Ryder.
I thought 'Oh fuck I really fucked up this time!' I was shitting myself.

One police officer took Ezmaya off me and Dectective Ryder Put the handcuffs on me and put me inside the police car. "Im sorry Sofia, I have no choice. My hands are tied." She whispered to me.

I was so panicked, I didn't know where Ezmaya was and how Jaxon was going to take this.

"Katie where is Ezmaya" I asked.

"It's Detective Ryder. And shes safe don't worry." Katie said. She was in work mode.

"That's easy for you to say you don't fucking have kids." I said angrily.

"Sofia she's behind in the next police car, They will look after her and the father will be informed."

The officer driving looked back at me.

"Katie stop acting like you don't fucking know me, I want to speak to jaxon now!" I demanded.

"Miss Rose, You will have phone privileges" she said sternly.

Was she for real.
Calling me Miss Rose, Acting like the bitch didn't know me! She slept with my fiance fuck sake.

I knew jaxon was going to be so angry at me, Not as angry as I was at myself.

I had fucked up any chances of being a good mother.

In the police station they finally let me hold her. She wouldn't settle so they didn't have a choice.

I couldn't help but cry. They told me I would get a 2 year minimum sentence. 6 months if I told them who I was working for.

I couldn't. £15,000 was too much to lose, I was keeping my mouth shut.

I wouldn't see my baby girl grow, I would miss her first steps, Her first words, Her very first birthday.

She would never remember who her mummy was.

And this was all my own fault for thinking I was a fucking gangster.

Jaxon was on his way to the police station. I knew I was in trouble.

At that point Jaxon knew what I had done.
Ryder had told him everything. He knew I was going down for this.

I hoped he would talk to me.
I had to tell him how to look after Ezmaya and her needs.

I couldn't help but cry. I was hoping he would wait for me, I didn't want him promising me just incase he couldn't keep it.

I the back of the police car I had text Freya and asked if she would help him through all this because she was my best friend and she knew Ezmaya's routine.

I really hoped they wouldn't sleep together. I couldn't imagine him with another women, Especially not my best friend.

I kissed both Jaxon and Ezmaya as they left.

I had really done it this time. Again.

My life was finally getting itself back on track and I had fucked it up again.

I couldn't wait for these 2 years to be over... I just wanted to be with my man and my baby girl.