No-one talked on the way back home. Suspicions were high. Janus seemed enveloped in thought - not noticing anyone if they tried to walk beside him or even if Patton tried smiling at him.
Virgil and I lingered behind everyone else walking home, walking side by side and mirrored enjoying the silence. I kept my eyes to myself, watching my feet hit the stone pavement we were walking on or admiring the trees beside us decorated in scurrying squirrels and chirping birds. Virgil showed the inverse, he was the one staring at everyone while slowly rubbing his hands together - a nervous tick. Every so often he'd meet eyes with the person he was staring at in that moment; and instead of doing what he usually does of quickly looking away nervously as the staring was usually on accident, he kept the eye contact. He examined their movements while the person either got more confused or nervous. Once the reaction was evident enough Virgil would move his stare to someone else and repeat, returning to the person he just scared the life out of after a couple of minutes.
The swiping of Virgil's hands got quicker the more he stared, his nervousness overtaking his thoughts completely. I sighed and elbowed Virgil's arm, causing him to look at me and his stare became less angry and more scared in an instant. I gave him a reassuring look and talked slowly, letting him breathe slowly and calm himself down. "What's wrong Virgil?"
"Who did that to you Lo?" Virgil mumbled. "Who would purposefully make you forget all of us? It seems like torture!"
"Maybe someone who wanted to get with Logan..." Janus finally whispered, walking slightly slower to linger behind Roman and Patton and interrupt our conversation. Virgil became red and hissed at Janus, making my expression more confused. "Oh how suspicious..." Janus giggled at Virgil's tomato face, apart from his tone seemed more serious than his usual annoying sarcastic jokes. I could sense anger filling up in Virgil's body, his mouth about to hiss and his fists clenching for a punch.
"Well, it's all sorted now." I laughed softly, rubbing Virgil's clenched knuckles as he finally released all the pressure. "I don't have the amnesia anymore - and if it were a threat I'm sure whoever did it would strike again. So just leave it." I said the last sentence a little more sternly, giving Janus a stern glare so he'd shut his mouth and walk away, as he did.
"Thanks Sherlock." Virgil whispered, a smile arriving again as his eyes kept on me. The rest of the way home the two of us were smiling and laughing - but I knew he was still a little nervous by his hand stroking his jeans as he walked. He promised me that once we got home he'd explain the kiss.
***
Virgil and I walked into my room pretty much as soon as we got home. He took a deep breath and sat on my bed, looking around for a moment. "Roman said Janus is moving into his new room tomorrow... I suppose it's my last night on this sleepover huh?" The nervous laugh, the rhetorical question, the change of subject. He was hoping I'd forgotten his promise.
I only nodded and looked at my drawers. Slowly I brought out a tie and did it up myself for the first time since my amnesia. I did it up in a lot of my memories, so it didn't seem to make me choke anymore. Virgil looked defeated in the realisation that this small change made me truly who I was before. "Should I take the hoodie?" Virgil stared up at me from where he was sitting, sadness present in his voice even though he wouldn't dare show it. I managed to remedy that with a smirk as I sat next to him, keeping my hoodie on.
"Pff no - this sh^^ is comfy." I laughed, sitting against the pillows on my bed while Virgil stayed at the other end and leant against the wall rather than facing me. His smile appeared until the next sentence came out of my mouth. "Now about that kiss..."
His face dropped and his eyebrows furrowed. He stared at his hands crossed neatly over his lap, breathing slowly and keeping my room silent for a while. I didn't feel the need to rush any of this, I just wanted the truth. Whether he loved me in the past - or he still loves me - I wanted to know. The thought of him loving me filled me with adrenaline, in a good way. I brought my knees to my chest to stop me from giggling at the thought of Virgil returning the love.
"We were young..." Virgil finally spoke, not looking at me still but staring at the slight movements his hands made as he spoke. "It was the very beginning of the whole sexuality thing - and I saw you I suppose the same way Thomas saw that physics teacher..."
"As a soulmate?" I interrupted, shuffling closer to me as he finally looked at me with wide and confused eyes.
"I-I wouldn't put it that far..." Virgil stumbled, looking away quickly as I sat next to him. "I just - I can't describe it - It just felt like the 'right moment' to kiss you I guess... I felt so warm inside even looking at you and the whole world felt peaceful and I guess it was like - the vulnerability in that moment gave me the courage to step out my comfort zone. I mean I was already outside it anyway so..." Virgil started rambling again, tugging his hair and bringing a knee to his chest while his face got pinker and pinker.
"Do you still feel that around me?" That question caused silence again. His breathing hitched and his eyes widened. God I was begging he would say yes at this point, it would kill me if he just viewed me as a friend after all of this. He was so god-damn perfect.
Eventually he faced me, having one last large breath. "Do you?" He whispered, my face erupting in red as a response making him smile the cheesiest cutest smile I have ever seen. That was a sufficient response as soon his cheeks matched mine. He slowly began leaning in - as did I - and our lips met. While our lips connected I leant back to lie down and Virgil didn't let go, my hands hugged his waist as we lay together - the kisses starting shy but then getting more passionate as our confidence increased and the realisation that we were actually kissing dawned on us. We soon had to separate due to a familiar but faint 'aww' at the door.
"Congrats Logie! And Virgie too - oh I'll go and get Roman here and then we can invite Thomas round and share the news!" Patton ran out excitedly, leaving freshly baked brownies on a tray on the floor as we sat up again laughing but still red.
"So um - shall we finish that conversation we were having at our movie night tonight?" I chuckled, albeit nervously now I knew the absolute truth - and it changed everything for the better. Virgil nodded enthusiastically, causing the brownies to appear in front of us so he didn't have to move away from next to me.
"It's a date... Boyfriend."
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So that's the last chapter done! Thanks everyone for reading this and I will definitely be making this into a series.
The next book is going to be either I am Virgil Sanders, I am Patton Sanders or I am Roman Sanders - depending on which you want so please tell me in the comments!
Whichever one is next in the series I'll put a teaser chapter on this book before writing it on here and AO3. Other ships are yet to be decided but if you have certain ships you recommend (that don't interfere with Analogical of course) then just comment, I tried to keep options open for this book but if I write I am Patton Sanders or I am Roman Sanders there will of course be a ship there.
See you soon!
El(SandersWrites)
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(COMPLETE) I am Logan Sanders - Sanders Sides fanfiction.
Fanfiction** Cover is fanart by Logansandersart on Instagram ** Logan wakes confused. He has no memory - of anything. He wouldn't have even known his name if it wasn't painted over the dark oak door in galaxy paint. He doesn't know anyone around him but someh...
