Reviewer-
PROS:
> The cover is unique and well done! It doesn't look slapped together at all, it's well crafted and everything is visible and readable!! I absolutely love the font you used for the title, it's very fitting for the book! It's a wonderful first impression.
>This is also a very very unique book and plot, I was delighted at the fact it was non-cliché and new, something not often seen. It reminded me of the hunger games, actually! I'm a sucker for dystopian books so I definitely enjoyed it! It definitely shows off your imagination, which is by far the best thing about the book!
>You did super well with your tenses, particularly in the first chapter. Most verbs were kept in the present which is something that adds professionalism to the book!!
>I wanted to point out the opening to chapter three, it's very attention catching and it's like a very clever way to introduce the past without info-dumping and making it boring. Often we see flashbacks done horribly, either it's not important or just frankly boring; but you did this one just right with not too much detail bout just enough so I know what's going on.
>You nailed the descriptions -like I said, not too much but not too little! I just wanted to point this out since it was well done and you were able to give me a sense of what was going on!
>I'm a huge fan of one liners in descriptions! Your use of this was very impactful, you did it only where it was needed and were able to make me realize that those sentences were in-fact important.
> You have a lovely vocabulary and didn't repeat the same words often when describing something!
CONS:
>You used a ton of periods and commas (which, commas are lovely don't get me wrong) but you could benefit from changing it up! i.e, use some semi-colons, explanation points, parentheses, hyphens, dashes and colons!! This just adds some variety to the writing and makes it more interesting to read.
>As I said your tenses were good, they also were consistent outside the first chapter. You definitely could benefit from doing a round of editing for that! Ex, he grabbed the object. This would be: he grabs the object.
>Finally, you could've added a bit more to the world-building. When creating a new world -as you did- you need to explain the basics at the beginning; like about the different dimensions. It was confusing at times (since you were switching POV chapter to chapter, which is a very skillful move) so I'd suggest making the world, side-characters and their roles a bit clearer!!
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