Reviewer- @cwang1
Pros:
I liked how you had a lot of dialogue, and how you used that dialogue to provide background about your world and to develop the characters. This is really a hard thing to do, so kudos to you for that!
I thought that your blurb contained some very interesting content! Though you had some extra words that you could remove, you had just enough content in the blurb, which really drew me into the story and made it more interesting to read.
I really liked your use of vocabulary! You had some very good vocabulary words that definitely added to your mood and tone. The connotation of your words, I could tell, was carefully chosen, so good job on that.
Cons:
I thought that your cover was a little simplistic. You just had your title and a ring, so I would suggest adding some more, perhaps trying to make the title pop out more.
I would suggest removing extra words that you don't really need. Sometimes, you don't need things like "but" and "and," which are really obvious when the reader reads it. Try to keep your writing as concise as possible, and I think that you could perhaps work on that.
I thought that the way you split the paragraphs was a little weird. I would suggest splitting up some of your longer paragraphs, where I saw several places you could split them up in. I thought that you also gave away a bit too much information in your cliffhangers. I believe that if you gave a little less information at the end of chapters, you could build the anticipation better until the next chapter.
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