After Time @Kei_Angelus

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Reviewer - 


 Pros: 

 I really like the simplistic style of your cover, and how it looks neat and elegant while not being overcrowded. 

Overall, I didn't spot many grammar, spelling, or punctuation errors, so great job on that! I also think that your dialogue is quite smooth, and adds to the plot in an interesting way.

 I like how you built your 'world' in a way that is very realistic and adds a lot of detail. For example, I like how you provided a lot of detail into the narrator's busy schedule, and how she has a lot of work and little time to do it.

Cons: 


 I think that your blurb ends on a confusing note. While everything is quite calm before the last part, the "explosions from her window" kind of confuses me. It doesn't really match the mood of the rest of the blurb, so I would recommend either taking that out or adding a different section in the beginning.

 I think that you should provide descriptions of the personalities of the characters more. 

Though you are quite good at providing descriptions of a scene, I think it would be beneficial if you could use more description of the characters. 

I also believe that you tend to repeat one phrase in many different ways a lot. I would recommend just cutting out the extra sentences that do not add to the story. For example, at one point, you repeated a variation of "it was very hard and different for me after our breakup" 3 times. 

You often ended sections of the story with "and then I heard an explosion," or something like that, and then move on to something completely different. Though I am pretty sure this is meant to be a cliffhanger, I think this can really confuse a reader since you are abruptly switching between two scenes that have no correlation.

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