Chapter 27
Titig na titig ako sa puting kisame. Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras na akong dilat.
The door opened revealing Tita Marta and Tito Cesar. Suminghap ako nang dumapo ang mga mata ni Tito sa akin. I looked away and bit my lip. Hindi ko sila kayang tingnan.
"How are you feeling?" I heard Tito's voice.
Hindi ako sumagot at nanatili ang tingin sa dingding ng kwarto. I couldn't stop the tear that traveled through my cheek. My heart is clenching so bad and I couldn't understand what I feel. Parang sasabog ang puso ko sa dami ng nararamdaman na hindi ko na maipaliwanag.
I heard Tito sighed. Naramdaman ko ang paglubog ng dulo ng kama pero hindi pa rin ako lumingon o ano man.
"Nakausap mo na ba ang Doctor?" Boses ni Tito 'yon.
"Yes, I already did. Dumiretso ka ba rito?" Mahina ang boses ni Tita.
"I should have been here the moment you called me but I couldn't leave the meeting because my boss is in a bad mood."
Wala na akong narinig pa. Hindi ko sila matingnan, hindi ko kaya. Tuloy tuloy ang agos ng luha sa pisngi ko, mas lalong gusto kong magalit sa sarili ko. I know they're watching me.
I felt a hand caressing my right cheek, it was Tita. Iniwas ko ang mukha at gumilid sa paghiga. Nagbuntong hininga si Tita at hindi na ako hinawakan pa. I stayed like that until I fell asleep.
I stayed the night in the hospital. Ilang beses akong binalikan ng Doctor at madalas siyang kausapin ni Tita. Umuwi si Tito pero bumalik din ng madaling araw. Hindi ko pa rin sila kinakausap.
"Sien, you should eat. Ang kaunti ng kinain mo kagabi," Tita said the moment I woke up.
I gritted my teeth and slowly got up from bed. I feel so weak, physically and emotionally. I felt Tita beside me, helping me to sit up properly but I avoided her touch. Unti-unti niya akong binitawan at suminghap.
I started eating, sobrang kaunti ng kinakain ko. Sa kalagitnaan ng pagkain ay pumasok si Tito na may dalang mga prutas. Binagsak ko ang tingin sa pagkain. Wala akong gana pero pinipilit ko dahil may gamot akong iniinom na binigay ng Doctor.
"You have an appointment today?" I heard Tito asking.
"Yes, but I can't leave Sien. Mau-ultra sound siya mamaya... kailangan niya ako." Kahit mahina ang boses ni Tita ay dinig ko pa rin.
"How about your patient?" Hininaan ni Tito ang boses niya.
"I will explain to her that I have an emergency. Mas importante ito..."
My grip on the spoon tightened. I wanted to tell them that it's fine. They can leave me. I don't want to be a burden anymore. The guilt that I'm feeling is becoming more intense. I feel so weak to even open my mouth.
Bumuhos ang luha ko, natulak ko ang bed table tray kaya natapon ang mga pagkain. Agad akong dinaluhan ni Tita. My tears couldn't stop, I wanted to hurt myself. Naninikip ng husto ang dibdib ko. I gripped my shirt tightly as my tears poured violently.
Yinakap ako ni Tita ng mahigpit. She hushed me and rubbed my back.
"It's alright, it's alright..." she whispered.
Bayolente akong umiling. Sinubukan ko siyang itulak pero mahigpit niya akong niyakap. Nanghina ang kamay kong nagtutulak sa kaniya pero lumakas lalo ang pag-iyak ko.
I wanted so bad to shout because I could not understand myself. I could not withstand the emotions inside. It was like a volcano waiting to erupt.
"It's alright... you're going to be alright."
