You, Only You

Chapter 30

'Cause we lost it all
And nothin' lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
And nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand

Naririto ako sa sarili kong kwarto sa La Cruzalda nanatiling nakatayo sa balkonahe at pinakikinggan ang tugtog na nangingibabaw sa loob ng aking kwarto. Napagdesisyunan kasi namin na dito ibuburol si dad dahil kagaya ng palagi niyang sinasabi na ito ang pinagmulan ng lahat, ang sakit man but i have to accept the fact that everything will end in here too.

I didn't lost everything but it feels like my world is shattering. My dad means the most to me. He is my idol, my inspiration and motivation, and he is my only proof that not all heroes wear capes because my dad is my kind of hero but he only wear his determination.

I don't know how to face everything. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko haharapin si dad habang nakahiga sa loob ng kabaong. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko kakayaning makita si dad ng walang buhay. I just don't know. I want to shut every people out of my life. Nag sink in na ang lahat sa isipan ko, ang katotohanang ang tatay ko ay patay na at hindi na muling gigising pa.

How could these things happened so fast? Parang kahapon lang ay nakikita ko pa siyang buhay na buhay ngunit heto at naroroon siya sa baba at pinaglalamayan na. I felt the pain deep within my heart while my eyes are all dry. There were no tears in me but just a burden of grieves.

And as the music ended i enter my room to choose another one pero naagaw ng plastic na inabot sa akin kahapon sa morgue ang paningin ko. Lumakad ako papalapit roon atsaka nakakunot noong kinuha iyong papel na nakatupi na may mga bakas ng dugo and suddenly my tears started to fall. With just knowing that the blood in this paper is from my dad. I open the paper and on my suprised i saw my name like it was really dedicated for me and so i read it.

~~~~~

Dwaine my son,

          I wrote this later to explain everything. I knew that you are a good man and a smart one so i am very sure that you will understand everything but yet i don't have the courage to tell you these stuffs personally so i just decided to wrote a letter and when i reached U.S i will just send you this. I am very sorry if i treated you so bad before i leave, That is the only choice i saw son. I am very sorry.

         Son, you are grown enough to know everything. I wanted to say sorry for lying. I wanted to tell you sorry for not telling everything. Dwaine i just did all of this because i am too scared that if you knew that your mom is alive then you would look for her and leave me. Yes son you read it right, your mom is alive. I just knew by conducting a research and investigation specifically for her. I started it when you told my what is Shiane's name, Elyssa Shiane. How can i forget that wonderful name if i am the one who name her myself. And further more i asked you about her mom's name because it really bothers me alot.  But please understand, I just love you too much that i can't afford to loss a precious son like you, i already lost your mom and i can't live a life with a thought that i might loss you too. You are my only Treasure Dwaine and i knew that when the time comes that you received this, your mind is full of confusion so right now i want to tell you a real story behind everything. Just know that i love you so much son and the fate decided to make a way to reveal the truth that i kept on hidding. Listen up good man this will be a long story but it'll be worth it.