Adoring Your Soul

Kabanata 13

Kabanata 13

Entangled

"What's that? Some kind of poetry?" pang-aasar ko, hindi na kumatok.

He stood up right away, although not in a rush, kalmado pa rin. Marahan niyang inilagay ang maliit na papel sa bulsa niya at ngumiti.

"Yes, darling?" He seemed to be mocking me with his arched brow.

Inirapan ko ang endearment niya. "You are a poet?" sambit ko, pilit na sinisipat ang bulsa niya.

Umiling siya at naglakad na papunta sa gawi ko. Sinarado niya ang pinto at nagtaas ng kilay sa akin. He was wearing a white tee shirt. Iba na 'yon kumpara kanina dahil iba na ang design no'n. Ngayon ko lang din napansin na basa ang buhok niya.

Nag-iwas tuloy ako ng tingin at ngumuso. Hindi ako naligo, nagpalit lang ng mas simpleng damit. Nakakahiya naman.

"That's not a poem, and I'm not a poet, Miss Ma'am."

Nagtaas ako ng kilay. "Ano pala 'yon?" pilit ko pa.

"A quote?" parang hindi pa siya sigurado.

I rolled my eyes. Hindi ako nakapagsalita nang maalala ang nangyari kanina lang. He became cold and... left me. Halata na hindi niya gustong pag-usapan ang nakaraan niya. Is it okay that we seem to be fine now? Hindi ba namin lilinawin iyon? Hindi niya ba sasabihin kung ano 'yong mga bagay na hindi ko dapat banggitin katulad ng sinabi ni Ivar? Paano kung curious ako sa mga ex niya? Should I just bring up the topic and let him leave again because he's upset? If we don't fix this, it will happen again. Marami pa akong gustong linawin sa kanya. Katulad ng... relasyon namin. Kung naglolokohan lang ba kami?

Are we duping each other and playing each other's game? Ganoon ba ang gusto niya hanggang sa matapos ito? Kung tatanungin ko naman siya, alam kong magagalit lang siya at mag-aaway kami. Siguro, wag na lang. I think it's fine if we have little confusion between the two of us. Relationships aren't perfect, right? They are ugly, imperfect, and flawed. So why am I complaining?

I chuckled at whatever he said. "You like quotes?!" natawa akong muli. "So you're like those nerds at university?" asar ko pa.

Kumunot ang noo niya. "I'm not a student though." Nagtaas siya ng kilay. "You like boys your age?"

Naiwang nakaawang ang labi ko. Sa huli, kinagat ko iyon. Bumaba naman ang tingin niya roon at pinanood kung paano ko kagatin ang labi.

And I realized... he's already working and he's not a student anymore. Why am I only now realizing these things?! He's already twenty-two years old! Malamang, talagang nagtatrabaho na siya!

Napamura ako sa aking isipan at parang nagugulat pa rin. Paano na lang kung... malaman niyang nasa high school pa lang ang fiancé niya? I'll be in grade twelve when the classes start. Grade twelve lang.

"Why?" he asked when he noticed my uneasiness.

I shook my head. "Nothing.... I just remember something."

He nodded half-heartedly. "You should sleep early. We'll go somewhere tomorrow. So...." He stared at me.

"Tomorrow huh?" Ngumiti na ako. "Where? What are the other plans after tomorrow?"

We should be planning right now because weeks were gone, at wala pa ring kongkretong plano para sa engagement party o kasal. Though I'll run away before those events occur. Kailangan lang magplano para... hindi siya magtaka o si Tita Alicia.

Naisip ko tuloy kung... buhay pa ako bago pa man makaalis o makatakas. Ruevaz and Mercedes. They're two families and if they found out what we were planning, they would definitely hunt us to death.