Adoring Your Soul

Kabanata 11

Kabanata 11

Heavy Things

I don't know if what I did was enough; I don't know if my actions were enough to make him fall for me. Noong una, sinabi kong gusto ko nang umuwi dahil hindi ko nagustuhan ang ugali niya, pero naisip ko si Miraes: ang mga pangarap niya. Naalala ko kung gaano niya kagustong yumaman; kung gaano niya kagustong gumanda ang buhay niya. Naisip ko na para sa amin 'to. Hindi ko gustong umuwi ng luhaan. At hindi ko gustong mag-ulam kami ng itlog araw-araw.

Sa kabilang banda, naisip ko rin si Nathan. Kung ano ang mga sasabihin niya kung sakaling sabihin ko sa kanya o makita niya. "You're a minor, Luan!" 'yan ang naiisip kong sasabihin niya sa akin. Alam kong meron pang mas malalang salita, pero hindi ko na gustong isipin. Mali nga ito. Minor ako at siya, twenty-two na. Mabilis lang ang dalawang buwan at tingin ko, hindi naman siya gano'ng mababaliw sa akin. Lalo na kapag... nalaman niya ang edad ko.

Napangiti ako ng sarkastiko at tumingin sa salamin. All of what happened yesterday was all an act. Ang yakap, iyak ay hindi totoo. Hinding-hindi ako madadala ng pagpapanggap na ito dahil hindi ako naniniwala sa pag-ibig. Maybe my judgement of him has changed a little, but it won't change the fact that he only plays. He is Archer Thaddeus, imposibleng magseryoso. At kapag iniwan ko na, sigurado akong may kapalit na agad.

I grimaced while looking at the mirror. I was wearing a fitted light blue dress that showed a bit of my cleavage. Noong nag-usap kami ni Tita Alicia, binigyan niya na naman ako ng bagong mga damit na suotin ko raw. Ilang beses akong napapairap kapag tinitingnan ang sarili sa salamin. I fixed my hair earlier in a clean ponytail, but I feel like it revealed more of my cleavage. So, I decided to let my long hair down. My hair shined as the sun touched it. Kapag nahahawakan ng araw ang aking buhok, nagkukulay kayumanggi ito kahit hindi naman napakulay. My mom doesn't want to destroy my hair. Bata pa naman ako no'n at ang mga pangdalagang bagay ay wala sa isipan ko.

I saw Archer when I was standing on the stairs. He was leaning on the antique door of the mansion, looking at me too. Nagtaas ng kilay nang makalapit na ako. I think it is because he has a clearer view of my dress. Nagtaas din ako ng kilay.

"We won't be leaving." Nakatingin pa rin siya sa dress ko.

"Why?"

Does my dress make him want to vomit? Hindi ba bagay? I don't even know if this dress suits me. I can't even ask Perlita because she's always busy with chores. I can't do anything but wear what I should wear.

I sighed and averted my eyes a bit. "Hindi ba bagay?" tanong ko, hindi nakatingin.

"You are showing too much skin, Miss Ma'am." Napatingin na ako sa kanya, nakatitig siya sa akin ngayon.

I pouted. "If that is so, why? This is the way I want to dress. Will you punch some bitch boys for me, then?" I smirked.

He smirked too. He walked towards me and wrapped his arm around my waist. "Of course," he said, and then kissed me on the head. "Let's go then?" aniya, nakangiti.

Lumabas kami ng mansion na gano'n ang posisyon. I don't really know what we would do in front of the sea. Hindi siya pumunta sa farm ngayon dahil nag-stay lang sa mansion kasama ako. Tita Alicia wasn't there. Kasa-kasama yata ang mga amigo sa labas ng Nasugbu. Naisip ko tuloy kung umuuwi ba ang papa nila. I heard he was only going home when an occasion occurred. Hindi ko alam kung magkasundo ba ang mga magulang nila. Tita Alicia seemed to be rugged; their father, on the other hand, was still anonymous to me. I wanted to ask Archer about his parents but I think I'd cross the line if I did that. I am his fiancé but we still haven't had the intimate kind of relationship. We're still kind of "strangers" to each other. Even me, wasn't ready to open up about my life. I had had the best life before the tragedy happened. It was painful and dreadful for me. Hindi ko kaya na basta na lang isiwalat ang nangyari sa nakaraan.... Hindi ko alam kung "nakaraan" nga ba dahil... tatlong taon lang ang lumipas simula nang mangyari iyon. I was so young... so innocent to witness that nightmare.