Adoring Your Soul

Kabanata 21

Kabanata 21

Coward

I thought I liked how he ran his fingers over my skin. The way he makes my system come alive from a simple touch. I thought I always wanted to be near him because I wanted his touch all over my skin, body, and soul. 

I like how he makes my body arch when he touches me. Every time he does that, my body wants to just lie on the bed while my limbs are trembling. Akala ko, iyon ang gusto kong ibinibigay niya. Kung paano uminit ang pisngi ko at kung paano manabik sa tuwing nandyan siya. Akala ko pa, nagiging ganito ako dahil alam na alam niya kung paano gawin iyon dahil may karanasan na siya. I thought I was just enjoying it because I'm still a child. Our age difference makes us different, but it's not all about it. 

It's not all about the lust. He fills the void in my soul. Ni hindi ko alam kung paano ngunit iyon lagi ang nararamdaman ko. I'm ecstatic because he's beside me. Hanggang ngayon, nalilito pa rin ako kung paghanga ba ito o pagmamahal. 

Love has many different meanings. Love for a friend, love for a thing, love for a family, and romantic love. Hindi ko alam kung lahat ba 'yan ay nararamdaman ko para kay Archer. The only thing that's clear right here is that I like him. Like a lot, a lot. 

I'm not sure where it began, but I liked him. Despite his cruelty and obstinacy, I admire him. I'm enthralled by him in every way. Napapangiwi man ako minsan sa kung paano niya tingnan o bigyan ng opinyon ang mga bagay, gusto ko pa rin siya. 

I have the impression that my soul is entwined with his and will never be free. I'm always shocked and fascinated whenever I see him. It feels like green, vibrant leaves together with a plethora of flowers in paradise. Ganoon. That's exactly how I felt. 

It is silly for a seventeen-year-old girl. 

Walang nangyari noong gabing iyon. When he felt that I was ready for it, he stopped. Hindi ko alam kung ano bang nangyari ngunit nang tumigil kami, sinabi niyang magpalit ako at agad na siyang umalis sa kuwarto. Nakatulog na ako kaya hindi ko napansin na bumalik pala siya sa kuwarto at nang umaga, ipinaghanda niya ako ng pagkain. He became sweet, eh?

"I think that place is beautiful!" panimula ko ng pag-uusapan dahil katulad kahapon, tahimik lang ulit siya ngayon. 

I swallowed and thought of a topic again. We'll go for a dive, but I won't, of course. Manonood lamang ako kasama ang mga pinsan niya. At s'yempre, dahil sa nangyari roon sa Fortune Island, hindi niya isasama ang kaibigan niyang si Winnie. Pumayag na akong isama niya ni Nathan at Peter dahil alam kong mabuburyo siya kapag siya lang ang nag-dive. Habang ako, patingin-tingin lang. Our differences never make us feel different from each other. 

"Anilao, right? I never got to ask Ivar because he is out of Nasugbu. Pero nabanggit ni Perlita na nakapunta na raw kayo roon?" dagdag ko pa. 

I sighed and looked away when he didn't even turn. He seems to be distancing himself from me. Madalas siyang nakakapit sa akin ngunit hindi naman ako kinikibo. I refuse to believe that it was because of what happened the other night, dahil noong nakaraan pa iyon at ilang gabi na ang lumipas at ganito pa rin siya. 

Ngumuso ako at inisip pa ang mga nakita sa internet kasama si Perlita kanina. Nang sabihin kasi ni Archer ang pupuntahan namin, agad kong hinila si Perlita at tinanong. She said she had gone there once but had forgotten about the scenery and all. Kinailangan pa naming mag-search para makita kung anong itsura no'n. I know I looked dumb for not knowing the places here in Batangas, but I have never visited this place. I am a city girl, so I often hear about the places in Batangas. 

Nang iliko niya ang sasakyan, natanaw ko ang Taal. Of course, I know this place. Dumaan ang bus namin nang kami ay mag-field trip ngunit ang Nasugbu ay hindi ko alam. Kung nasabi man iyon ng tour guide, baka tulog ako o hindi nakikinig.