Adoring Your Soul

Kabanata 23

Kabanata 23

Yours

I cannot say a thing because of what he'd said. Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo at matapang siyang hinarap. Parehong nag-aalab ang aming mga mata sa magkaibang dahilan, milyon-milyong dahilan na hindi namin masabi sa isa't isa dahil parehong hindi gustong maging emosyonal. O ako lang 'yon. My pride cannot handle this. Kahit na kasalanan ko, ayaw kong humingi ng tawad. 

I looked at his burning eyes. Mula pa kanina, nakakunot na ang kanyang noo, kasabay nang pagkuyom ng kamao. Despite his age, he looked older because of stress. Natindig ako sa aking pagtayo dahil ngayon lang yata napansin ang maliliit na buhok sa ibaba at ibabaw ng kanyang labi. Ngunit kahit na mukha siyang pagod, kinampihan ko pa rin ang sariling puri.

"Are you threatening me? Kung makapagsalita ka! You don't own anything here! Hindi ako sa'yo at kayang-kaya kong baliin ang kasunduan natin!" After saying that, he immediately grabbed my left hand. 

"I don't own a thing here because it's a person," aniya at ipinupunto ang singsing. "No matter what happens, wherever you go, I'll be your husband at matatali ka sa akin. You will bear my name," he stated firmly. 

Marahas kong binawi ang aking kamay at suminghal. "Binabakuran mo na ako? Puwes." Agad kong tinanggal ang singsing at malakas iyong pinalo sa kanyang matigas na dibdib. "Sa'yo na 'to! Ayan, I am not your fiancé anymore and I will never ever bear your fucking name, Mercedes!" 

Napapikit siya habang hinihilot ang sintido, pagod na sa ipinaglalaban ko. Lumapit siya sa akin at muling kinuha ang kaliwang kamay ko, ipinasok ang singsing. 

"You will never get tired of me." He gave me a tight grip on my waist to pull me closer. 

I was taken aback, but I kept it to myself and didn't show it to him. Napahawak ako sa kanyang balikat. I examined my hand, which was clutching him. It was shaking with fear. I swallowed all of my saliva and noticed how his lips were stretched. This is what he wants! Gustong-gusto niya ay 'yong nangangatog ako sa tuwing ganito kami kalapit! 

He forced me to look at him, then teasingly stroked his fingertips along my jaw. As I took a step back, he grabbed my waist tightly once again.

He arched an eyebrow. "So you like this, huh?" 

Kinagat ko ang labi ko. I did not say a word, waiting for him to just kiss me. I can feel my cheeks burning. Katulad noong una, o sa mga nangyari dati, nanlalamig na naman ang aking tiyan. Animo'y may kung anong acid sa loob nito, pinapatay ang mga paruparo. Higit doon. Mas higit doon ang nararamdaman ko sa tuwing ganito kami kalapit. 

He drew me closer to his lips by gently touching my nape. To keep myself from collapsing, I ran my right hand up to his shoulder. I'm afraid I can't. Nangangatog ang mga tuhod ko dahil sa lambot ng kanyang labi. He does it all the time, taunting me with his tongue, which almost eats the insides of my mouth. I gripped him tightly as I ran my hands through his chest. Ang akala ko'y matagal pa ngunit tumigil na. 

I opened my eyes and I saw him smirking. I licked my lower lip to taste what was left of him on it. He watched me while I was doing it. 

We're still holding onto each other. Kahit na nanghihina, pinili kong iiwas ang aking tingin, hagkan ang natitirang pride. Meron pa ba o nalusaw na kasama no'ng halik niya? 

Fuck! He really knows how to make me feel this way! Alam niya at gustong-gusto niya 'yon!

I said, "I'd never fall for you," as I revoked my body. 

"Hmm, still in the process?" tanong niya. "I don't think so," aniya at binuksan na ang pinto ng aking kuwarto. 

"Where are you going?" I said bitterly. 

"Buy you some rings so they will remind you that you are mine. You'll also get tired of removing them. In the end, you'll come back to me."

Pagkatapos niyang sabihin iyon, agad siyang umalis. What does it mean? Maayos na ba kami? 

Of course not! He was just teasing me! Sa tingin niya kayang tapalan ng halik na 'yon ang lahat? No, never!

I remember his tired face as I sat on the bed. Kinagat ko ang labi ko at pinag-isipan kung hihingi ba ng tawad. He looked really tired. Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko dahil imbis na ayawan siya dahil sa ganoong mukha, parang mas gusto ko pa dahil mas guwapo siya roon. Kung magtatagal pa ang pag-aaway namin, baka abutin ito ng engagement party. I need to fix this. Hindi puwede lalo na't pauwi na rin kami. We just argued the whole vacation here in Anilao. Then what should I do to mend this weevily situation?

I was cursing as I decided to follow him. Magso-sorry lang naman ako at tapos na. I don't have to do anything. If he doesn't accept my apology, then don't! Bababaan ko na nga ang pride ko. Magso-sorry lang ako dahil... matanda na siya! Well, twenty-two is still young. But because of his body and mature face, he looked like a twenty-five-year old man! 

Suot-suot pa rin ang dress, naglakad na ako papunta sa resort. I saw Winnie, Peter, and Nathan, but I didn't bother to think of them. I wandered around and I saw him, talking to our butler while holding a glass of alcohol in his right hand. I looked at the bar and saw the Don Papa Rum. I sighed. Is he really stressed that much?

Bago pa man maabot ang fiancé, agad nang humarang si Winnie. I looked all over her body. She was wearing a blue bikini. Napa-irap ako. I guess I'll hate the blue color now. 

"You are so immature, aren't you?"

Inayos ko ang aking buhok na ginugulo ng hangin. I averted my gaze and tried to walk on the other side, but she blocked my way. Nagtaas ako ng kilay upang kuwestyunin siya. 

"Kung hindi ka pa pinabantayan ni Archer, talagang lalandi ka sa iba! It really shows in the end. Nasa loob pala ang kulo mo. Kunwaring maamo at mabait, 'yon pala, may tinatago nang kalandian." She smiled sarcastically as she raised her eyebrows. 

Susubukan ko sana ulit na dumaan sa ibang direksyon ngunit muli niyang hinarangan ang daan. Obviously, I don't have time to feed her ego. I'd just be wasting my time if I fired back. It's tiring to fight back with people who are close minded. S'yempre, ipaglalaban nila ang pananaw na meron sila. It's up to them if they are open to other opinions. In this case, it's Winnie. Sarado ang utak. 

"Ikaw? Where did it show up? On the very first day, right? Why are you acting like a girlfriend? We both decided to enter into this relationship. You see, "both" wala ka ro'n, so stop whining and get out of my face."

Maglalakad na sana ako nang higitin niya ang braso ko upang muling ipirmi kung nasaan ako kanina. I tried to revoke my arm but she gripped it tightly. 

"Because I respect Archer, titiisin kita! Pero sa oras na gumawa ka ng kahit anong kalokohan kagaya nito, aagawin ko siya sa'yo!" giit niya na ipinagtaka ko. 

"You are the main girl, right? Why do you want to be a side chick?" Lumapit ako sa kanyang tainga. "Try to snatch him, but no matter what you do, you'll always be a friend who's humping on the chair while thinking of him touching you. Hanggang doon ka lang, Winnie. In the end, I'll only be the woman who can hear his trembling voice because of my touch. Sure, you could hear his moan, but it's my name he is uttering. Poor friend."

I left as I said that. Umangat ang gilid ng aking labi habang tinitingnan ang fiancé na hinihintay rin ako. If I am yours, then you are mine.