Behind Bars

BB 17: I See You

I See You

Matthew's Point Of View

*The Night when Matthew walked out after being reminded of elha and Kurt went after him*

Kanina pa ako palakad lakad, maliwanag rin naman ang paligid at may sense of direction ako kaya walang problema. Tangina kasing drake yon sa lahat ng pwedeng itanong yun pa napili e. Akala mo naman walang alam.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga at malakas na sinipa ang maliit na batong nakaharang sa daraanan ko saka ako huminto. Alam ko rin kasing hindi ako nag iisa ngayon.

"Kanina mo pa ako sinusundan. Wag kanang magtago." Lumingon ako sa aking likuran at doon ay nakita ko si Kurt na kakamot kamot sa ulong lumapit sa akin.

"Medyo may tama kana kasi pre, nag alala lang kami kaya sinundan na kita."

I smirked by what he said. Ako? Si Matthew Monroe? May Tama? Sus. Wag ako.

Naglakad lakad nalang akong muli kasabay si kurt na hindi na rin naman umimik pa. Nakarating kami sa plaza kung saan naroon ang tinatawag nilang perya. Maingay, maraming tao, mga batang naglalaro't nagtatakbuhan. Magandang lugar para sa mga taong malalim ang iniisip katulad ko.

"So, what's bothering you? I know we've known each other for quite some time but we're not that close enough for you to feel worried about me and follow me here. I'm not dense. Gago lang pero marunong ako makiramdam." Unang litanya ko ng maupo kaming dalawa at deretso ang mga mata sa mga batang naglalaro.

I heard him smirked. I guess I got it right.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm confused. I... I don't know... I don't... I can't really... Really figure out what I'm... What I truly feel. You know what I mean?"

"Stuck between Samina and Kath?" I took a quick glance at him and his looking down with both his hands on his nape. "Or stuck between I love you still but I don't wanna hurt her?"

"What?"

"I still remember your face, clearly. That day on Kath's birthday, with jahlen around? You suck at hiding dude, and now with Philip? I can even see the history you have there kahit wala akong alam sa buong istorya."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing much, it's just that... Time's too precious to be wasted from uncertainties. If you can figure it out earlier, that would be way better. Or you'll be even be more miserable than I am right now."

I can't believe I'm telling him all these but yeah, maybe my words can be of use right?

"Nakilala mo naman na sila elha diba? You met her multiple times and I assume na natatandaan mo parin sya." I took a quick glance at him. Tumango ito. "You see dude, all those time I have elha with me. She has been my comfort zone and share of happiness pero katulad ni dustine noon, masyado akong nagpabulag sa babaeng inakala kong mahal ko so I took elha for granted without even knowing. Nasasaktan ko na pala sya ng paulit ulit but she stayed. Not until she got to finally realized how she should love herself more than she love me."

Ang sakit pala, ang sakit alalahanin kung paano ako naging tanga at dahil don, naipahamak ko sya, nailagay sa peligro ang buhay nya.

"That day... when I lost my sanity and drove that car after I received a call that Aljhane was missing, she ran after we fought and still hasn't come back, elha knew I was going after the girl I long for, the girl she dreamt she was. Kahit masakit sa kanya, her love for me overflowed her pain. I was drunk and wasted but I insist on looking for the woman of my dreams. Si elha? Sumakay sya ng kotse cause she's so worried I might caught in an accident. Nag aalala sya pero ng paandarin ko ng mabilis ung kotse, kita ko sa mga mata nya ang takot. But still, she manage to talk to me and try to calm me down pero hindi ako nagpaawat. She even asked me to slow down pero sinigawan ko lang sya. You know what she told me dude? She promised to let me go and disobey her parents for the first time for my sake. Hindi ko makalimutan hanggang ngayon tuwing gabi pag matutulog ako, napapanaginipan ko sya habang binabanggit nya ang mga katagang iyon."