Tayson's Triangle (Kingston Series #4) ✔️

Chapter 24

**(Edited)**

Tayson's POV

I wake up snuggled into a boob, not just any boob, that's my moms boob. I know what they feel like because I used to sleep on hers all the time when I was younger. I look up to see her wide awake while holding me.

"Mom?" I ask as my voice cracks. She looks down at me while having tears in her eyes as she kisses my head.

"Tayson before you tell me why you did it, you need to know that you can't do that again. You can't do it again and I refuse for you to take the easy way out." She says as I look into the dark circles under her eyes and her swollen and chapped lips.

"Mom, I feel like I'm a mistake, I can't even love who I am. I love everyone and everything and it always hurts me. I feel like I'm just a liability to you and dad and I'm just broken." I rasp out as holds me. I still want to do it, I think I always will until I learn to love Tayson. I need to love who I am before I love anyone the way I love Connor again.

"Baby, listen to me, you are not a mistake. I know you didn't come into this world the way you wanted to but listen to me. What would I do without you? Tatum looks like me but she acts just like your father. Turner and Trevor, they are a hundred percent Tanner. Who did I get? I got you. You don't look like me, you honestly look more like your dad but you are me. You are so much like me and I couldn't live without you. Killing yourself is not the way to go. Talk to me Tayson, we're best friends" she rasps out while rubbing my hair. I needed this, I needed her and I needed this comfort.

"I love Connor and he can't tell me anything, I love Hampton and I had to chose so I picked Connor and then he left. I loved my patient Jackson and he was just a child, he died. I couldn't save him and he was the first patient I ever had. I hurt and kill everyone around me." I rasp out to her as she shakes her head.

"Listen to me Hampton and Connor are grown ass men who make their own decisions. They act the way they do because of their life's and experiences not because you loved them. And for Jackson, I read his file when he was rushed into the ER and I had to take care of him, and I know exactly who you are talking about. He was going to die, and I know that sounds insensitive but we both knew he didn't have long Tayson" she rasps out while holding me.

"Can I stop? I love everyone and I want to be an emotionless bitch like I was before I became a nurse and started dating" I rasp out as she hugs me.

"That's life Tayson and you have to change with it without wanting to hurt yourself and die. Your father and I would die for you in a heartbeat, we would do anything for you and your siblings so don't you dare make me want to, I'm sad and angry for you trying to getting rid of my baby" she whispers into my hair as I nod.

"I feel so lost mom" I whisper to her as she keeps holding me into her chest.

"I know you do, and I know you hurt but it gets better Tayson. You know about me and your dad and I wanted to give up with the twins so many times but I couldn't for them, so do this for me. Don't give up, look at me now, I have a beautiful family, I'm safe and secure and I have a wonderful job and husband. That's because I fought, and you need to do it to." She tells me as I nod.

"Why do I love people so much when all I do is get hurt?" I ask as she sighs.

"Because God made you to love people Tayson, you're a lover and you brighten anyone's day when they see you smile" she tells me as I laugh.

"Your sugar coating shit now" I rasp out as she shakes her head.

"If you don't believe me watch when Connor looks at you, or Eliza sees you. It's like you have made their year" she says into my hair.