An Impossible Choice

Whats wrong with me?

THANKS for reading this far! <3 pic of Emma on the side

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up feeling a little disoriented but somehow safe. Then a grin spreads on my face. Yesterday was definitely not a dream! I touch my lips gently then pull the covers against my face breathing in deeply. It was all real. My heart beat quickens with the surge of memories flooding through my mind thank god I threw up what if I couldn’t have remembered all this?

I get up very slowly almost regretting it wishing I could stay in Christ’s bed all day. Unfortunately the alarm clock by the bed informed me that I had already been here the whole morning. I stretch out and walk out in to the hall and then in to the living room. I look around the whole room it was definitely different from my apartment the walls were gray and beautiful art works hung from the walls. The couches were black which matched the frames on the wall and the coffee table. I blush softly spotting Christ lying on the larger couch.

His body was so relaxed it was probably the first time I had ever seen him like this. His features were beautiful even though there was dim lighting I could see his face very clearly. His hair was messy hmm pillow head hair. I let out a soft giggle I walk over to the curtain wanting a little more light to come in. I just wanted to see his face in a better light. I opened only a few inches and the light seeped as far as the coffee table.

Then I hear loud sound I turn to find Christ had jolted away and jumped away from the couch. “Close the blinds NOW” he screams angry at me. But before I could even comply he was right besides me pulling them shut.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you” I say glancing up at him nervously.

“It’s fine…” He says distant he turns away from me and begins to head to the bedroom pausing just before the hall he turns back and mumbles “You can let your self out” then disappears.

I shrug I guess his not a morning person. I feel bad just leaving but I pick up my clutch, phone and slide in to my heels. I bite my lower lip wondering if it really is ok to just leave and I quickly write him a note on one of those grocery lists ‘Thank you for last night.’ Then I leave making sure to lock the door behind me.

I unlock the door to my place and walk in it was rather quiet. I shrug it was Saturday and most of the time my parents are out all day. I take a long bath which gives me enough time to think about everything that had happened.

I wondered if Leo liked me or if it was a spur of the moment thing. I wonder if Christ liked me or was it also a spur of the moment thing. How can they like me I mean we don’t really know each other that well?  Wait… maybe I was the one who kissed them in the spur of the moment. I didn’t really know them but I want to know them. Do they want to know me?

The rest of the weekend felt like a blur nothing interesting happened well aside from learning that Hannah didn’t end up hooking up with Josh how she wanted. I told her about what happened on my end and she was truly happy for me although I think she was mainly happy that I finally admitted her make up and shopping skills were super.

I went back to school on Monday but this time I had worn my uniform just like Hannah had instructed. I wore a tighter button up shirt and left the top 3 buttons undone so that my bra could be seen as well as fold up my skirt so it was shorter and pack on make up and put on finally black heels.  I walked in full of confidence but by the end of the day I was very disappointed.

Guys didn’t eye me like they had at the party while more people noticed my sudden change and stopped to greet me. No guy really stopped to talk to me, Let alone Leo in fact I got the feeling he was avoiding me. There weren’t any texts from him either. I must have looked at my phone a thousand times but he didn’t txt me. Was I supposed to txt him back? I wasn’t sure what I wanted from him since I had kissed Christ but… perhaps get to know him and let him get to know the real me.