Killing Chris

Showdown

As the showdown between the killer and I continued we get closer to finding out the whole truth. Not just who the killer is but also what the killer wants. As an old friend arrives on campus I'd be thrown into a spiral that I would only barely escape. As I write the story now, as an adult, I realized the day the familiar face showed up was one of the worst days of my life. It brought memories to the surface I had been content on burying. It would force me not only to tell Dane that I lied, but also that I lied to myself.

The days after the death in the night club Dane stayed cooped up in the room. He felt as if the deaths were on him since it was his party. If only he knew how much of that night was my fault maybe he would hate me right now. But selfishly, instead of telling Dane that the fault lies with me, I let him feel guilty out of fear. The campus released a statement about the murders but basically claimed no-fault since it happened off-campus.

My parents blew up my phone all week but I chose to spare myself the pity they would try to shove down my throat. The campus upped the security which made literally no one feel better but it was a PR stunt so. Finally, on Thursday I decided to answer my parent's phone call. To my surprise they weren't serving up pity... instead they were serving up a warning. They warned me that a mother of one of my old friends had told her I was going to have a visitor this week. As if I didn't already have enough shit on my plate a whole nother serving of shit gets added right on top.

Friday is when I received the phone call from my visitor, I immediately declined but he left a message and it said

"Hey Chris, I know you can't possibly want to see me right now but I really need to talk to you. I need to admit my mistakes so I can start my healing process. I'm coming to your dorm tomorrow around noon, I'd really like it if I can talk to you to tell you how sorry I am...but if you're not there I will leave and totally understand. We went through the same shit id like to be there for each other again"

I drew the phone back from my face as tears rolled down my cheek. Dane heard and rolled over looking at me.

"What's wrong?!" he said worried

I looked up at him and started bawling, I didn't plan for this to happen but shit... those emotions just hit me like a truck. I know that comparison isn't funny because I literally got hit with a truck but let me use my damn figures of speech. I opened my mouth about to say words but nothing came out.

"Chris you're scaring me please talk to me," Dane said one more.

"Dane...I...I...I lied to you." I responded in between sobs.

"About what?" he said sitting up

I stood up from my sitting position on my bed and stormed out of the room heading for a place I had not yet determined for reasons I had not determined. Dane followed me to the door but stopped at the door because he didn't wanna pry. that night I went and sat in the campus garden under the stars and just thought. Thought about all the people living normal lives. I wanted my biggest worry to be an exam in college algebra. As I stared up into the sky I imagined all the different versions of me in other universes that got luckier than me.

It always made me feel better to think about the me's in other universes. It made me feel better because all the other me's are living the good life. Instead of accepting the hand I played in my fate I convinced myself that I was unlucky for getting dealt my sorrowful hand. I stared up at the stars and just cried, determined to throw the biggest pity party for myself I could. I had no concern about my surroundings but my thoughts were interrupted by a girl who was walking through the garden.

"Hey are you okay," the girl asked standing about six feet in front of me

I looked at her wiping my face and replied "ye...no I'm not okay, not at all. I haven't been for a while and I think it's only gonna get worse"

She sat next down next to me and introduced herself "I'm Clarke, tell me what happened maybe it will make you feel better"

"Hey Clarke, I'm Chris... no offense but licensed therapists aren't equipt enough to help me with my problems so I doubt you could"

"You'd be surprised the arsenal of information I have locked up in here," she said pointing to her head.

"Fine ill give it a shot... On the day of graduation from high school, a psychopath murdered two of my friends so dead I can't even explain it to you. I told my only friend from this whole college, and hell... myself, that the psychopath killed all three of my best friends, and now one of them is coming to visit me."

I thought what was the harm in sharing my story with a complete stranger... it's not as If I would ever see her again so she couldn't be put in danger because of me. Unexpectedly Clarke looked at me, not with pity but admiration.

"You're telling me you went through all that shit and you're still here?" She asked

I nodded and she spoke again

"Trust me I tell all my friends from here that the queen bitches from my high school croaked in some awful way. When and if they show up here I just tell them I meant they were dead to me" She said cheerfully.

"Well, the friends I lied about were my best friends...my other halves. I'm fucking sick for lying about death after I've seen it personally and so are you. You have no idea how real death is until you see it right in front of you, so fuck you." I yelled standing up and walking away from yet another person I had told the truth to.

I guess it's better to run from the truth than to turn to a lie. I'm sure your all wondering how much other stuff. I have lied about in my story, don't let your mind go there...I'm telling the story the best way I know how. ignorance is bliss? no? After I stormed away from the girl in the garden I had nowhere left to go where I felt relaxed. So I went back to the room and told Dane I wasn't in the mood to talk and I went to bed early.

To make up for my lie ill tell you part of the story that I have never told anyone before. I wasn't always an only child, I had a younger brother named Hughie. When I was twelve and Hughie was eight our family went on a camping trip to Silver Lake Michigan. Hughie and I went swimming one night when we weren't supposed to and Hughie drowned. there were no lights, I looked for him but I couldn't find him. That's more on that topic then I planned to tell you when I started the story. My family isn't important to the story but the death of my family is.

I hope that you, the readers, can forgive me for the lie I not only told myself but also the lie I told you. On the night of graduation, there were only two deaths, one of my friends had survived. I know that the pain I carry was created by their deaths but in a way, they all did kind of die. The one who survived blamed me for the other deaths and never talked to me again... till now. I know its bad that I lied about one of their deaths but I had Margo, Lake, and Derek before graduation but after... I had only one. The survivor of the night of graduation was...

Chris Logged off