Killing Chris

Thankful

I talked to Rhys for a good hour or so before he had to go. I know you're probably really wondering what we talked about for so long but some things are better secrets when they are actually kept secret. I used the remainder of my dads twenty dollar bill to get myself back home. I barely had enough, a dollar sixty-four cents to spare.

When I got home it was about lunchtime, the house was teeming with little kids sprinting through the halls and hiding behind corners to scare you. Part of me liked how happy it made my parents having so many kids in the house again but I personally hated it. 

The day continued on pretty normal chugging along until night broke and our beds called for us.

Two Days until Thanksgiving 

"hey, Chris wake up" someone whispered. The morning sun shining through my window.

I sat up from my bed rubbing my eyes, they focused and I saw Jenna standing at the end of my bed. She held up the keys to her father's car,

"Come show me and Landon around town, the travel expenses are paid for," she said dangling the keys.

"Alright just let me get dressed," I said leaving the covers over me.

She closed the door behind her and I slipped my clothes on eager to leave this place. I had no idea what I was gonna show Jenna and Landon, our hometown was small, bustling with locals but not actually having any fun things to do. I slipped out the front door and jumped into the backseat of my uncle's black Chevy malibu.

"Where to Chris-man," Landon said spinning around.

I thought for a moment and then listed off some ideas "We could go to the bowling alley? get ice cream? An indoor swimming pool? Movie theatre?"

"Stop... I already know what I wanna do" Jenna said smiling.

"Bowling ain't it?" Landon asked with a grin 

Jenna nodded and then broke out into laughter. I gave her the directions and we were on our way. I hadn't been bowling since...Since back when my life was normal before the body dropped. Margo loved to bowl, she looked so carefree when we went bowling. She never wanted to leave that place.

We rolled up to the bowling alley about five minutes later. The three of us made our way into the Zebra bowling alley and up to the front counter.

"Hi I'd like some shoes and then two games please," Jenna said

"Ditto" Landen called from behind her.

The man at the counter asked for their shoe sizes and Jenna handed over the money to the man for the two of them. I had forgotten the world revolved around money...I didn't have any. I never had the time to have a job I was in and out of institutions that didn't revolve around currency. I didn't know what to do. 

"How can I help you?" The man behind the counter asked.

I stared down at the floor for a second and then looked over to Jenna,

"I forgot my wallet back at the house, you rushed me out of bed hahaha," I said as my face got red.

"Oh, no problem," Jenna said handing over cash.

"Thanks, I'll pay you back" I replied.

Jenna and Landen walked away from the counter 

"Lane five...lane five...AHA! lane five." Landen called out pointing.

"Here's your shoes kid," The man said setting them down on the counter.

I turned from Landen and Jenna back to him. Standing in his place was Derek. not the high school Derek I loved but the nuthouse Derek who had become recently deceased. He grabbed my arm and pulled my arm closer to him.

"You did this to me! This is all your fault!" He yelled

I tugged my body out of his grasp and looked at him,

"Im sorry!" I yelled back.

Jenna's hand touched my shoulder and I turned to her then back to the man, who was now standing with a confused look on his face.

"I...I Don't feel so good I'm gonna walk home but please play. Youll have so much fun" I said to Jenna and Landen

Jenna offered me money for an uber but I actually wanted to walk even though it was far away. I walked straight back home, with nothing but just my mind. On that walk, I remember wondering how much much longer I'd be able to live with myself knowing all these peoples died because of me.

I think often times people forget the sorrow you feel when someone dies in an attempt to forget the pain. Death is permanent, more permanent than a sharpie on paper, or broken glass. It's sad to think about all the things Margo and Lake could've done, how many people they would've loved. All those people will live worse lives because they weren't in them and that's just too much to think about.

Day before Thanksgiving

The day before Thanksgiving was a really rough one for my mother, in the morning she had a breakdown because she didn't think she had enough food. So naturally, she went back to the store and doubled the amount of food she planned to make. My dad was sitting in the kitchen bitching about all the money she was gonna spend on the food we were going to waste but she went anyway. 

The day was actually pretty boring. The calm before the storm if you will. Except the storm wasn't just a thunderstorm, it was a category five hurricane that was gonna level everything in its path. We were a strong family though, at least apart. Together my family was broken when we begin to rely on others so much we forget to rely on ourselves. After a long enough time goes by we lose the ability to reply to ourselves to complete the task.

That's what my family was like. When my parents were together my mom made the decisions despite my dad's wise input. When I was with my parents I trusted them and so I ignored myself. It is hard to make decisions for yourself when you can't hear your internal voice. It might not apply to you however, maybe you're capable of forming your own decisions despite being near those who love to make them for you. Or maybe you just the type of person who likes when people make the decisions so then you don't have to.

The rest of the night consisted of bickering from the older people in the house. When it turned dark the parents gathered around the table to play some stupid card game they all loved where they used real money. I never understood gambling but nevertheless. While they played cards yelling loudly I went to bed. 

Years Later

Let's take a break from this story and visit me in the current day. An update on my current whereabouts I guess. I am currently in Louisiana and if you remember that's also where Clarke was. I thought it was a long shot but I went to the city she mentioned on the phone way back and she had still been here...working at the bar she mentioned. I actually just left her right before aI started writing, that's probably why it's one of the happier parts of the story. 

Spending a few days with Clarke was like a feast for a starving person. I knew I couldn't stay long though because the killer was hot on my tale so I limited myself to a single weekend. The Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I had just spent with Clarke had been some of the best days of my life considering I was fleeing the police as a wanted criminal.

I know it still doesn't make sense why I'm a wanted criminal if my name was cleared but you'll understand soon enough. When the killer strikes down a member of my family the community goes wild as it remembers the horror of the first killing spree back during high school. The cops patrolled the streets on high alert. The stores ran out of knives and pepper spray. A bubble of paranoia and hysteria covered the town as the climax of the killing spree approached. 

Chris Logged Off