Just them in me

I am Sorry

"What New! What! Are you gonna say i can't do it... ? so then tell me you would stay, that you won't go back to your wife..." Tay yelled running his hand in his hair, its the millionth time they are having this conversation.

"Taee... you know I can't..." New tried to speak up as he sat up and covering himself till his chest but Tay cut him off.

"Do that? Really... We are together for what now? 10 Years? You break up with me saying we won't work out, then you ask me to stay your friend, make me your best man at your wedding so the world wouldn't suspect anything, then one night you just randomly show up at my door again and now you don't want me to let you go... It's 2025 Hin... Open your eyes and see the reality, If you want me to stay, you gotta stay..., You don't even be hear in the morning when i wake up... I mean I wonder how you do it after I wreck your ass up like that...." Tay sat back down on the edge of the bed again and faced New... "what do you do after you go back to your wife anyway? Fuck her so she would keep her mouth shut?""

New closed his eyes to stop the helplessness in him from bursting out,  he looked lifeless when he opened his eyes.... he moved closer to Tay and held his hands... "Tay... I told ÿou, we don't even sleep in the same room... she knows everything and she is okay with it..."

"You keep telling that to yourself New..., Because you know if it is true you wouldn't have any problem to give you both the freedom you two badly need...." Tay is still hopeful that New would come back to him.

"Tay please... Please just don't ask me to stay away from you, you know I can't, all I am asking is let's just keep being ourselves once a week, is that really not fair, Do i not deserve even that..."New's voice sounded pleading.

"New I thought i was clear, but let me repeat my self..."Tay hovered on New caging him... "Önce Ï tie the knot next month there is no way i am letting my wife sleep in a different room... I can't be one thing outside and another inside like you..."

"Now you are just taking out your spite on me..."New commented, Tay was never this difficult to convince, All he would do is pout and Tay would give him whatever he wants, but the night is shattering everything that New believes in. 

"Yes, New, Yes I am, I am mad, angry, pissed, annoyed and frustrated for loving a coward who can't even bother to try and fight for his own self..."Tay spout again.

"How am i supposed to do that ha?" New's voice also started raising... "We both are at our career's peak, we do one wrong thing now, we are over..."

"Wrong?... Wow.... New.... Aren't you full of surprises?" Tay mocked, they didn't know when there bickering started to become dangerous argument. 

"Tsk..." New tsked... "Tay please let's be practical, all these things you are talking about, It's 2025, and there is no orthodoxy anymore... is bullshit and you know it.., People even get a sniff of what we are, they are gonna drag us through the mud and they are not gonna stop there"

"That's exactly what  i am saying New, I am ready to be drowned in the mud if it's with you... I don't know what you are soo afraid of..." Tay now said soothing New's hands in his. 

"We will get fired, we won't have anything to do..."New sniffed looking up at Tay.

"Great, then more us time, we can start a small business and run it together, i don't need luxuries i am a simple man..." Tay shrugged.

"Taee, listen to yourself, none of what you are saying is either logical or practical" New tried again.

Tay's voice calmed down, they have said these words to each other lot more times than they could count, but still every damn time these words burn Tay's head, and by now he has gotten used to that burn " i am not practical?" Tay said smirking... " Who is the one that said we can get over each other  when i said we can't, who was the one that thought a straight marriage would solve all the problems, and who is the one now cheating on his beautiful and understanding wife with me, Ha?" Tay couldn't control his base as he reached end of the monologue, the shouts sent shivers through New's skin.