The Vagabond Princess [Wainwright Series 1]

VAGABOND 23: The Vagabond Princess

CODHILLE

I refuse to believe she left. 

I refuse to believe her words in black and white.

I am not believing anything. All of these are nonsense. It is impossible that she's been gone for a week. It is impossible she left her family behind because of our problems.

There has got to be another reason. I gathered all of my clothes and personal belongings, and shove it all back to my luggage. I made up my mind after these past few days.

I am going to find her. I am going to find Khanarie Wainwright and fight for her again. I would not lose her anymore.

"What do you think you are doing, Codie?" I did not turn around and continued packing my things. Kohlen slammed the door shut and stomp his way towards me. "We tried talking to you and now you are doing this?!" He tries to pull me back, but I did not give him any of his shits.

"STOP IT, CODHILLE!"

"Don't even think about it, Kohl."

"Are you running away, too? I know everything is a huge mess, but you shouldn't leave yet, Codie! May mga bagay pa tayong kailangan na ayusin dito sa mga Wainwright!"

"The only way to fix this is to find Khanarie," I curse under my breath as I felt the sting inside my chest.

It is starting to break again. Mentioning her name tears me all over again.

"Codie, you are making this difficult for you. Speak to us. To me. I'm your cousin. I am not leaving you behind. Not like before." He pats my shoulder and I go still. "After all we have been through, you would now run away? Codie, you never do that. Because no matter what obstacle we faced before, you were able to get back on your feet. Do it again. You can do this!"

I shook my head and wipe my tears on my sleeves.

I can never be the same. I can never do the same. The past was different. The present is different. I will never be me from the past, because the present me projects a bitter reality.

"You don't understand me, Kohl... Without someone you love, you lose yourself, too." I begged for her to be with me. Begged to marry her. I begged desperately, but it wasn't enough to make her stay.

Because in that moment, when the flames were burning, one would lose its spark and dies. And her spark dies from my touch. Sending me a blizzard of sharp words, knocking me off guard and leaving me in tears.

I lost me. I lost us.

"I understand, Codie."

"No, you don't!" I answered back then slowly picked up the dagger knife that marked me. "You haven't lost anyone, Kohl. You still have those you love beside you. Your family. Your significant other. They are so close to you, and I envy you!"

The blades reflection showed my tired and swollen eyes. It is red again, and it stings.

"That's not true. I'm about to lose my best cousin, you! So, I understand what you are going through." His hands move away from my shoulder yet he remain standing behind me. "But I won't let you lose yourself. That is why I am here. Codie, if you talk to us, we can resolve this. We may have a greater chance finding Khanarie. Let's put our wits together and move forward."

I try letting his words sink into my mind. But I am miles away accepting every word he says. Those are lies. They all lied. Like how we did to each other.

"Enough..."

"What?"

"We're done talking. Get out of the room and leave me be, Kohl." I push him away with my words and tucked the dagger knife inside my luggage. I heard him scoff and I continue to ignore him.