Their shared suffering - ELU

Apart

"Wonder if I die, will anyone mourn me?
I asked for love but I didn't give her a reason,
now I am all alone with the pain in my chest."

The holidays were almost over.
During the entirety of the holidays, though, Lucas hadn't been able to relax as he had envisioned it.
His father had dragged him from one doctor to another, ultimately ending up at a therapist's office.

Lucas was currently fidgeting with the prescription paper for the antidepressant Fluoxetin, which the therapist had prescribed him.
All he needed to do was entering the pharmacy and pick it up.
It was there, ready and waiting to be picked up, yet Lucas couldn't get himself to go and get it.

He took a deep breath and walked in.
It didn't take long, all it took was asking for the antidepressant, showing the prescription paper, and paying for it. And getting an explanation of what the antidepressant does and what its side effects are.
Feeling relieved, Lucas exited the pharmacy.

At home, he put it on his nightstand alongside his other smaller belongings that didn't necessarily need to be put into the bathroom cupboard.
"What'chu got there?", Eliott asked with a lopsided grin.
"The antidepressant I'm supposed to take soon, soon as in next week", Lucas told him and he could see in Eliott's eyes that the other man hadn't paid attention.

"Ouais, anyway, why don't you come to see what I've been up to as soon as I got home from work, huh?", Eliott suggested, already heading out the room.
Lucas groaned, and not only because he'd been having a headache all day, but also because he was tired of it.
He didn't want to listen to Eliott go on about pyramids and why the ancient Egyptian Pharaos were so wrong in so many things they'd done on an endless loop anymore.

Yes, he loved Eliott to pieces and yes, he'd endure his rambling without thinking about it twice if it meant that he'd get to spend another day at his gorgeous boyfriend's side.
But he was exhausted, mentally, and physically, and all he wanted to do was lay down on the couch and relax.
He'd been at the doctor's office for blood tests today, he'd done an ECG and he'd picked up his antidepressant. There was not a single ounce of energy left in his body.

Eliott had already pulled out two of the six books about ancient Egypt he'd bought throughout the beginning of the holidays.
"Come on, sit down", Eliott said and Lucas sat down.
The noise of Eliott talking about a theory of his about how and why Tutanchamun could still be alive and still control the other graves with his mind and in how many different ways Howard Carter could've discovered his grave was echoing in the background. Lucas tried very hard to ignore it.

"Look, Eli, I'm interested in your theory, or theories for that matter, but I've had a long day and I'm tired. My arm hurts from the blood test, I went through the process of getting an ECG, I'm exhausted and I don't know when I'll have to go to the clinic, therefore I'd like to get some sleep now", Lucas said, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Eliott looked down at his hands. He closed the book he'd opened and got up.

"Eli, where are you going?", Lucas asked confused, walking after his boyfriend.
But Eliott didn't listen. He walked to the front door, put on a pair of sneakers, and walked out.
Lucas watched him leave, and a part of him shattered into pieces for not running after him immediately.

A few minutes passed before Lucas tried to call Eliott.
"Eliott? Look, I didn't mean to offend you earlier, but I'm tired and it's exhausting to listen to you ramble, even though some of it is very interesting.
I love you, alright? I just want to hold you in my arms again, I just want to cuddle you and fall asleep in your arms. Come back home, please", Lucas spoke on the answering machine after Eliott hadn't picked up for what felt like the trillionth time.

It took Lucas several attempts until he finally got through to Eliott.
"Baby, where are you?", Lucas asked, his voice weak and small.
"I don't know, it's a busy street with a bridge and cars and it's dark out", Eliott said, stating it very matter-of-fact like.
Every single alarm bell inside of Lucas' tired mind went off.

"What did you say? Where are you exactly? I'll come and get you if you don't know the way back", Lucas pressed, his palms were starting to get sweaty.
He was afraid, afraid that Eliott might hurt himself, accidentally or purposefully.
"Uhh", Eliott mumbled, "I don't know where I'm at, putain. Could be anywhere."
Lucas groaned. This was extremely agonizing.
"Don't you have an inkling of an idea? I need to have some sort of info as to where I have to pick you up, love", he explained, trying his best to stay calm.

"Maybe this is close to la petite ceinture, but I'm not sure", Eliott said after a moment of being silent.
Lucas sighed relieved, at least he had a vague idea now.
"Alright, you stay there, don't move, and I'll come and get you", Lucas said and after Eliott had verbally agreed, he made his way to la petite ceinture.

The 18-year-old walked around the area, ultimately finding his boyfriend many meters away from the spot that once had been Eliott's refuge.
Eliott was sitting on the ground, his legs between the gaps of the metal railing, he was looking down.
"Baby", Lucas spoke into the chilly air of the night, Eliott turned his head.
"Lucas", the 20-year-old breathed, struggling to get his legs out of the gaps of the metal railing.

The smaller one pulled the taller one into a much-needed embrace.
"I'm so glad that you're alive and I'm so glad to have you back", Lucas whispered.
"Of course, mon hérisson", Eliott whispered back, despite knowing fully well that there'd been enough times where Lucas had to pick him up from the police station or the emergency room, not knowing for sure if Eliott was going to see the next day.
"I love you, mon raton laveur, and I don't want to lose you", Lucas said, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"I never want to do life apart from you ever again. Never again. But you have to live to be with me", Lucas told his boyfriend, who shook his head.
"Ouais, but the thoughts- they're racing and racing and it won't stop. Most- most of the time I don't know what'll help. Memorizing the Qur'an didn't help, obsessing over ancient Egypt doesn't seem to help either, even though ancient Egypt, Howard Carter, and Tutanchamun are very interesting topics. And I'm afraid of what I'll think I'll have to do next. What if I'll start obsessing over every single religion there is out there? I feel like my brain would go into overdrive mode if I'd go through that, and my brain feels like it's not mine most of the time anyway.
What if the next thing I spend all my energy on is learning new languages?
As much fun as that can be, I feel like I'd have to do it for the right reasons and not because I want to occupy myself with something now to the point of exhaustion", Eliott couldn't stop talking, once he'd started he couldn't stop.

"Let's go home first, love. There you can tell me more, I'm starting to feel quite unsafe up here and I don't know if I locked the door properly on my way out", Lucas said and the two men made their way back home.

They ended up crashing in their bed immediately, cuddled up together.
Too exhausted to keep the conversation alive and going and too tired to even make an active effort.
There was always time to talk more during the next day.

There'd always be a way for conversation.

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[Word count: 1350 words]

I hope you enjoyed it!
The lyrics at the top are from the song "Keiner Da", "Nobody There", by Lucifer XO.
I'm enjoying the story so far, I hope that the story is fun to read.
That's pretty much it from me, bye!