Their shared suffering - ELU

Worthless

"Don't sign for a hundred thousand euros, oh my lord
I want my grandchildren to be rich, that's comfort
T-That I flex a little and I walk, that happens
Deep in the night, you can no longer see anything
Smile at me, laugh at me and you're nothing more (nothing more)
Know a few homies, they take your shit away
Only after success comes respect and then it's worth nothing, yes
I ball with the clique, yeah (with the clique)
Distributed throughout the republic, yes
You have to accept it, you can't get us to go away
A-All of your talk is worthless to me"

Lucas came back from school.
Eliott had texted him that he had gone straight to the Video Club, therefore he didn't have to wait for him.

While reading the last messages in the group chat of him and his friends, Lucas decided to do his homework now.
He took out his history book and got to studying.

Writing an essay about the individual sub-topics of the GDR was not one of Lucas's favorite things to do, but he had no other choice.
He not only had to explain in detail the concepts for the transformation of the German political standpoints to state and nation in West and East, but he also had to elucidate the result of economic and social policy in the final phase of the GDR and their role in the acceptance of the system.

Meanwhile, Eliott was on his way home.
The Video Club hadn't been too busy today, therefore he'd been able to leave early.
As he took off his shoes and jacket, he heard a noise coming from the kitchen.
Eliott walked towards the noise, which turned out to be not as threatening as he'd thought.

It came from Lucas, who had put his head on his arms which rested on his books, quietly sniffling into the fabric of his hoodie.
Eliott quickly went to wash his hands in the kitchen sink, then hurrying to Lucas.
"Baby?", he asked, gently shaking Lucas' shoulder, "What's wrong?"

But his boyfriend didn't bug, the irregular sobs turned into a regular sea of sobs.
Eliott decided to do something and he carefully picked Lucas up and carried him to their couch.
"What happened, mon hérisson?", Eliott's quiet voice sounded so far away even though he was so close to his ear.
Lucas sat up, looking Eliott dead in the eyes. "I just feel so worthless, and I'm just so sick and tired of the constant stream of negative thoughts in my head."

Hearing Lucas say that broke Eliott's heart like nothing else ever could.
"And I don't even know why I feel this way. It's all this stress and pressure and I don't know how to deal with it anymore", Lucas confessed, wiping away his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie.
"You are not worthless, baby. Even though your brain tells you that, it's the farthest from the truth. You are such an incredible, inspiring, hard-working, considerate, and caring person and you do so much and everything you do is so important to everyone who loves you", Eliott said whilst playing with Lucas' hair, who had put his head in Eliott's lap.

"Merci, mon amour. I'll try my best to remember what you said whenever I'm feeling down", Lucas mumbled as he sat up straight again.
He ran a hand through his hair before combing through it with spread fingers.
"Alors, should I help you with your homework? Then we'll have some time to cuddle before we go to bed", Eliott suggested.
Lucas nodded, smiling sheepishly. "Ouais, that'd be great if you could help me out with my homework. Otherwise, I'll never get it done and my teachers will kill me."

Eliott tried to help Lucas as best as he could, luckily it worked out in the end.
Afterward, the two got ready for bed.
"Sometimes, I feel like I'll never get my damn degree, you know? Like, I still have a long way ahead and I still have a lot to learn, but it's too much sometimes, it's too hard to stay on top of everything", Eliott said, momentarily destroying the quietness of the night.

"Mmhh", Lucas hummed, "I know what you mean. I feel the same way. Sometimes I ask myself what if I don't succeed? What if I fail my baccalauréat général, you know? What am I supposed to do then? What's next to come anyway? I feel like I'm floating around without knowing where to go or what to do."
Eliott bit down on his bottom lip. Knowing that Lucas felt directionless ached in his chest.

"I would love to leave it all behind, to go somewhere. Everything is the same, it's getting monotonous. I would love to get in a car and drive away with you, to Marseille or Montpellier or somewhere else in the world where it's warm", Lucas went on, playing with Eliott's hair.
"I'd love that, too. Life feels like one huge cage sometimes", Eliott said quietly, lifting his head to see if Lucas was looking at him.
But Lucas was peeking through the small slit in the curtains, watching the full moon shine through the window.

"I wish that life would be a little less hectic. Everything has gotten so stressful over the years and everything has to be done immediately, right away, as soon and as quickly as possible. I wish that people would take their time with things from time to time, that'd be so much easier for everyone", Eliott continued, his eyes met Lucas' ocean blue ones.
"But unfortunately, the pace of things only gets quicker and quicker as the years go by. There's nothing to stop it either, you can only sit back and watch as life rushes by and you're forced to watch everything go down the drain, being left completely powerless", Lucas said defeatedly, looking away from Eliott as to hide the tears that were spilling out of his eyes.

Without adding anything more to it, Eliott sat up, pressing a kiss to Lucas' forehead.
"How about we call it a day, huh?", he asked and Lucas looked down on the mattress.
"Alright. I didn't mean to make you feel sad", he said quietly, avoiding Eliott's tired gaze, "I at least hope I didn't make you feel sad."
Eliott shook his head no. "You didn't, don't worry", he said, "If you would've, I'd have let you know that you did."

With that being said, Eliott switched off the bedroom light.
"I love you", Lucas said while inching closer to Eliott.
"I love you, too, mon amour", Eliott spoke and Lucas felt his heart warming up.

"Thank you for taking excellent care of my heart, I appreciate it very much", Eliott whispered, drawing a heart outline on Lucas' chest in the dark of the room.
"Thank you very much for taking excellent care of mine, too", Lucas whispered back, drawing a heart outline on Eliott's chest in return.

They drifted off to sleep as the full moon rose higher and higher over Paris.

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[Word count: 1188 words]

Yee yee, I had a lot of fun with this, I hope this wasn't too depressing or too filled with depressing thoughts.
The lyrics at the top are from the song "Nix Wert", "Worthless" by Kidnfinity and Sierra Kidd.