Their shared suffering - ELU

Heart

"I'll take my heart and tear it out, all just for you.
Put it in front of your door, but you step on it because you don't give a fuck.
I can't take this pain anymore.
You're breaking my neck.
I want to get out of my skin, I'd like to no longer be me.

My heart is screaming from my chest to remove it.
I remove the skin, crack open the chest, and watch how it beats.
Tear it out with my bare hand because it begs you so much.
Put it in a jar with your name on it and give you the key to it.

I take my heart and put it on the steps in front of the door, knock and wait for you to come and get it.

You unlock it and take it in your hand and kill it with an icy stab, I feel it breaking into a thousand pieces.
You throw it on the floor, step on it as if it were dirt for you.
You think my way of proving something is so ridiculous.
But how can I prove to you that our love is real other than giving you the thing where the origin and the source are?
I am now cold because I have nothing left in me that can make me feel emotions."

Lucas grimaced as he put one of the little white pills in his mouth, washing it down with a few sips of water.
Swallowing pills wasn't his favorite thing to do, and having to do it every morning was just downright awful.
Eliott walked into the kitchen, smiling at the cup of coffee Lucas had made for him.

"Bonjour, mon amour", Eliott greeted his boyfriend, who sat opposite him behind the kitchen countertop on one of the bar stools.
"Bonjour chéri", Lucas replied, brows still furrowed because of the uncomfortable feeling as he felt the pill slide down his throat.

"How are you feeling?", he asked after he was done with recovering from swallowing his medication.
Eliott leaned against the kitchen countertop, next to the sink and the coffee maker.
"Alright, I think. My oral exam on the subject of plant morphology, more precisely of cytology, is today and I'm pretty anxious about that.
It's necessary for my intermediate diploma, as you know. But next week will get really interesting with the oral exams on chemistry, zoology, and botany.
My professors have given me a little more time so that I can plan the timing of when I study between the manic and depressive episodes, but I still have to work hard and it still won't be easy", Eliott explained, scratching the back of his head while taking a sip of his coffee.

Lucas nodded as he slumped slightly in his chair.
Eliott did so much for this degree, and he was about to finish his undergrad studies.
Whenever he wasn't experiencing a manic or depressive episode, Lucas saw him studying for that degree all the time.
Eliott had spent more weekends at the city library than Lucas could fathom.
And yet there was this huge amount of stress, this deep-rooted fear of not making it, as Eliott had once told him.
Despite his part-time job at the Video Club, University, and managing life in their shared apartment, Eliott often felt so unsuccessful, it broke Lucas' heart every time Eliott told him that he felt like a failure.

"I'm certain that you're going to make it. I believe in you", Lucas said, getting up from the barstool and walking up to Eliott.
"You manage to live in here with me", Lucas gestured to their surroundings, "You go to school, you have a part-time job and you haven't let our friends down so far. I admire everything you do, mon raton laveur."
Eliott blushed. "Merci, Lu Lu", Eliott replied, kissing the top of Lucas's nose.

"And how are you? Any essays you have to hand in?", Eliott asked, looking into the ocean blue eyes of his boyfriend.
Lucas smiled. "No, but my history exam on the Weimar Republic is today, I'm a little bit anxious about that. It's not like I didn't study, but I think I didn't study enough for it if you get what I mean. But besides that, today will be a pretty ordinary school day", Lucas answered, running a hand through his long, nut-brown hair.
Eliott looked down at his wristwatch.
"As much as I'd love to hold you in my arms forever, I'm afraid we have to continue doing that later today", Eliott said, quickly drinking the rest of his coffee.

Lucas let out a whine.
He made grabby hands as he walked towards Eliott, who was putting on his jacket, scarf, and shoes in the entrance hallway.
"Aww, baby", Eliott said, his heat filling up with warmth, "We can cuddle later, okay?"
But nobody could tell Lucas that he wasn't getting a hug, daily hugs were almost as crucial to him as breathing was.
He wrapped his arms around Eliott, careful not to apply pressure on his bag that Eliott had hung over his shoulder.

Eliott hugged him back for two minutes before trying to peel him off his body.
"Je t'aime", he said, pressing a kiss to Lucas' forehead.
"Moi aussi. You have my heart, it's stored in a jar with your name on it and only you have the key to it. Please don't smash it on the floor, alright?", Lucas asked Eliott, who nodded.
"I won't do that, I promise. But you have to take care of my heart and the key to it as well. My heart needs a lot of snuggles and kisses", he replied and Lucas smiled.
"I'm going to love you forever, did you know that?", he asked. Eliott grinned.
"Bien sûr, of course, I did. I'm going to love you forever as well, mon hérisson."

Looking at his wristwatch again, Eliott let out a long, strained sigh.
"Allez, we have to leave or else we'll both be late for school", Eliott urged and Lucas pouted. "Fine, chéri."

While exchanging small pecks here and there, Lucas and Eliott made it out the door in time.

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[Word count: 1033 words]

Happy Halloween! I hope everybody's doing something fun at home today!
I'm at home most of the time anyway, so I decided to write since that's the one thing I like doing the most.
The lyrics at the top are from the song "Herz", "Heart" by SkinnyJewlz.