Their shared suffering - ELU

Dust

"Every time I think about you, girl, my heart melts
California shawty keep you all to myself
Got these hoes on my line but it's no help
Girl, I got you in my life and that's why I fell

You can be my California shawty
It's just me and you, I'm tryna start a party
Say, my love for you is kinda getting unfunny
All the talking that we do tryna not get big heartache."

Lucas was freezing.
He had hurried up to get to his therapist's office on time since he went there right after school and now his legs were shaking and his lungs were burning.
With blue fingertips, he pushed open the door and walked inside, the warmth promptly enveloping him.

Luckily he didn't have to wait that long until his therapist let him in the session room.
"Alright", his therapist Monsieur Durant said as they sat down, "You've said in your last email that you're considering whether to accept the help or not. Is that correct?"
Lucas nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Oui, that's correct", he confirmed.
"You see, the whole clinic thing didn't work out, as you've told me", Monsieur Durant said as he put Lucas' file on the table, "But now you'd be willing to try out the feeding tube?"
Lucas nodded again, a bit slower this time.
Monsieur Durant let his gaze drop to his notes from their last session. "Can I ask you what brought this on? Because you were so vehemently against it the last time I asked you."

Lucas sat up in his chair, pursing his lips a bit. "You see, I was against it at first because I thought that I could handle it on my own. I thought that love was enough to make me get better but it's not. And now I'm not the only one who's at his wit's end, my boyfriend doesn't know how to deal with this anymore either. I want to learn how to live with this, but it'll only get worse if I don't overcome my problems with eating first", he explained as his therapist was taking notes.

"I see", Monsieur Durant then said, "But the tube won't fix what you think about eating, that's something that you'd have to work through with a specialized therapist. Don't worry, we've got two of them here, in case you were thinking about having to go look for one. The tube would only nourish your body with the nutrients that it's currently lacking. If we don't treat your behavior around food and what you think about food at the same time, the tube is pretty much useless, aside from giving your body enough nutrients."

Lucas slightly leaned back in his chair again. His mind was spiraling down into an endless loop of questions.
Where would he get something, that he could control, from? What if he didn't want to actually change his behavior but more erase the strain he'd put on his relationship with Eliott?

"Let's try it out then", he said determined, "I can always stop and get the tube taken out, right?"
Monsieur Durant nodded. "Bien sûr, that certainly won't be a problem", he confirmed.
"Great, when can it be done?", Lucas asked.
"You can go to your doctor and get it done today if I write you a prescription. It's a medical emergency after all", Monsieur Durant said before getting up.
"Formidable. That'd be great", Lucas said and his therapist left the room to prepare and print out the prescription.

Now Lucas was alone with his thoughts.
Despite knowing that Eliott was at work and probably extremely tired, he texted him anyway.
As expected, he didn't get a response, but he knew that Eliott would reply as soon as his shift was over.
Would it hurt to put the tube in? And would it do his already sky-high levels of anxiety any good if he'd look it up on Google now?
Probably not.

While he was thinking about what to tell his friends and the teachers at school, Monsieur Durant walked back in.
"Here's your prescription. You shouldn't have to wait that long until it's done", Monsieur Durant said as he handed Lucas the small sheet of paper.
"Merci", Lucas said as he got up, "I'll see you next week. Salut."
Monsieur Durant waved him goodbye as Lucas left the office.